Mr. Crab

Swimming with the skeeve is getting a little easier. Mostly because I'm getting faster but also because I'm just trying to shut up.

Cause in the past, I've been wimpy.

I've shunned the causeway for a swim because of the murk and I'm not really a big fan of the sea grass and the spiny sea anemone plant thingies that you swim over because let's face it, stuff hides in there and I don't like when stuff hides.

But I'm deciding to suck it up and deal because paying $8 every time I want to swim at the official pretty "beach" of Honeymoon Island is a little ridiculous just to avoid my skeeve factor.

I mean, just suck it up girl. It's all water. One just costs 8 bucks.

So today I went with the girls, both of whom think the water is just fine and one of them even thinks it's beautiful! And yesterday the water was crystal clear, no murk involved at all and if I was an avid snorkler, I really would have been in heaven. Because it is rich with sea life in there. (I'm the short one on the right in the picture by the way in case you were wondering.)

And I'm trying to be one with God's green earth, but I'm still a little jumpy in there. I see a big round flounder-looking fish just sitting there staring at me and it makes me jump 5 feet and then I feel stupid for jumping 5 feet for a nice fish and I keep swimming.

Then I swim some more and a few small fish dart away from me and their motion makes me jump 5 feet and I feel stupid for jumping 5 feet again for nice little fishies.

Calm down, already.

Save that jumping for the big mean ones.

So then we get to the turn around point and I turn around and come back and as I'm swimming I'm looking down at the ocean floor which is all sea grass and those spiny-looking plant thingies and some big conch shells that are moving and the occasion beer bottle (which really pisses me off) and then I look down and I see him.

Mr. Crab.

And he's huge and he's really freakin' pissed off that I'm swimming over him.

He is literally standing on his little tiny legs in the middle of the grass looking at me with those beady little tiny black eyes and he's reaching up at me with his big claws snapping away at me furiously as I swim over him and I am just out of his reach because we are not swimming in very deep water.

Snapping away furiously!

I mean, HE IS PISSED!

The vision of how pissed off this crab was still makes me laugh! He was really trying to get me!

Thank goodness I was out of his reach though because I'd have some pretty deep gashes in my wetsuit if I wasn't.

But boy was he mad!

I mean, please.

Like me and my wetsuit are gonna do anything to you, Mr. Crab.

I almost didn't even see you! I was just minding my own p's and q's! No need to be hostile!

Someone needs some anger management classes.

Gawd.

So I laughed about his little angry personality on the way back and how funny it looked then got jumpy about some other big round fish that was just sitting there staring at me as I passed (same one perhaps?) and I felt stupid and all of that and then said, "Decide you want it decide you want it decide you want it," which I do, then calmed down and finished up the swim. Still waiting for the ability to turn my brain off.

On a side note, I am finally officially bilateral breathing! I would never have known what that meant either because I was never a swimmer in my life so unless you swim, you probably don't care either, but it means I have learned to breathe on both sides which means every 3 strokes. Breakthrough!

It used to be every 4 strokes and only on the left and I'd be totally out of breath because it was too long in between breaths. But every 2 strokes was too short and the short breaths made me feel like I was hyperventhilating.

But three is juuuuuust right.

It only took about 4 swims in the pool where I drank the entire pool trying to breathe on my other side before I finally got it but it's so worth it. My point is that it not only makes me faster, but I never have to stop because now I have enough breath and that helps in dealing with the skeeve factor too.

Hooray!

Anyway.

That is all.

Oh, the kids have a huge spring festival today at their school where each class takes a country and performs a song dressed up in the country's theme and then we taste the food from all the countries. It's so fun and all the classes go all out, we've been working on it for weeks.

My 3 year old's class has the Phillipines and my 4 year old's class has North America and his whole class is dressing up like Abe Lincoln.

20 TINY ABE LINCOLNS! Even the girls!

Imagine how funny that's going to look! I'm dying inside just thinking about it!

OK now I'm done.

Really.

Signed,
Still a wimp, but getting better.