The Beach (So Far)

Running with bird.

Running from bird.

Bird.

Fun.



Family.



Tales from the Trenches (A Guest Post)

I am on vacation and this week we'll have a series of guest posts/slash/vacation pics (Kilwins). I met Jeanne Sager last month in LA for the Cars 2 trip and immediately recognized the reporter notebook she carried and took notes on, which could only mean one thing: we're kinfolk. She's is a newsperson and we are connected by the notebook. Anyway, in short, I heart her and she agreed to share her crazy tales from the trenches with us. Thanks girl! Enjoy!

Eight words I could have gotten through life without saying: "I told you to stop kissing the Biebs!" Wait, make that four, considering I'd already said "Stop kissing Justin Bieber!"

Here's another number for you: she's 6.

I thought we'd have awhile before we hit this stage. But then came the birthday party for yet another 6-year-old. Credit to my friends V and J. They came home from vacation to find their daughter had been infected with the fever. And taking it in stride, they crafted a party that allowed a group of screaming pre-pre-pubescent girls, and a few boys to beat two star shaped pinatas with Justin Bieber's face pasted on the front into submission.

I took special pleasure in screaming "Beat the Biebs." The "rescue" of the photocopied Bieber face from the wreckage of the pinata was my payback.

Little did I know the spoils of the war on cardboard and colored crepe paper had been squirreled away in her bag, above the bathing suit packed in hopes the slip and slide would come out this year (oooh, yes, there's still some 6-year-old left in there!), beneath that paper cups full of candy that I tried to forget on the picnic table (yup, still 6 indeed). Little did I know it would be pulled out of the bag and slipped between the window and screen of the front door.

It was the slam of the door that keyed me in. What could she be doing out there? After I'd heard about her fear of the bees outside enough times to start jumping myself every time I heard a buzz?

There she was. Making out with Justin Bieber.

That she'd asked me just three days earlier "how old were you when you had your first kiss?" (my answer: "Um, um, um, um") suddenly starting to make sense, I flubbed it. It was a total mom fail. There was no understanding, no oh honey, let's talk about boys and girls and birds and bees (aaack, bee? where?).

No, I'll admit it. I let out a holler. Not a scream -- there's a difference, and if you're a mom, you're nodding your head right now -- a holler. "Stop kissing Justin Bieber!"

Which should have been enough, right? I mean, that was just about as much as my little heart could take as I tried to slice up veggies for dinner without cutting my index finger right off.

And for a few minutes, it was. Blissful minutes. Minutes I'll have to remember in 10 years when she hates me, when it's not a photocopied version of a boy she's kissing, when they won't even make photocopiers.
She came inside, and for those minutes, I had a 6-year-old again. A girl who plays with LEGOs and sometimes wants me to read her bedtime stories, but sometimes wants to "do it herself." A girl who isn't too cool for her Dora nightgown, but really prefers Daddy's abandoned soccer jersey. A cuddler. A kisser. A little girl.

And then I heard it again.

Slam.

The front door closing behind her.

She was back on the porch.

And back in front of the Biebs.

And they came pouring out of me, louder and more furious than before.

"I told you to stop kissing Justin Bieber!"

Ah. Motherhood. Ain't it grand?

You can catch Jeanne's musings at The Stir,  as well as her own blog, Inside Out Motherhood!

Go visit her often, she's awesome!

Do you want to share your Tales from the Trenches -- crazy stories of Motherhood?) Be a guest poster here at AMWC! Send me an email at christieo at averagemomswearcapes.com.

What Happens in my Migraine-Inducing Stupor

That's me under the rice sock my mom made me (yes, it helps!) Not pictured: the Winnie the Pooh my 3 year old gave me.

It is nearly impossible to entertain my poor children when I'm laid out with a migraine but they did pretty good yesterday. Nothing I took worked, I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, I couldn't think. They did watch some tv and play in their rooms and I only had to break up a fight or two but we all survived.

However, I do some really stupid things when I can't think.

Like the following:

1. While cooking dinner, I rested my giant Sam's Club bag of pasta on the hot burner, burning a hole in the bag, creating a second hole and spilling the pasta everywhere, including onto the hot burners. So the rogue pastas wouldn't light themselves on fire, my kids walked in on my swiping all the pasta onto the floor in a panic. This caused them some distress as to why mommy was making such a huge mess on the kitchen floor but after I told them I was saving them from a tiny pasta fire, they understood and were quite possibly thankful.

2. I then proceeded to begin measuring the pasta to put it into the boiling water but because the bag now had two holes, it was spilling into the pot through both holes in the bag and therefore I made way too much. And unless you're talking about chocolate ice cream and vanilla ice cream coming out of a machine at the same time, coming out both holes is never a good thing.

3. The huge bowl I had wasn't enough to contain all the pasta I accidentally made, so it overflowed out of the bowl and also I leaned too far over my giant mound of cooked pasta and burned my nip through my shirt.

4. After the danger of any fire was over and dinner was finally cooked (the kids loved it but it honestly smelled disgusting because most things smell disgusting when I have a migraine) I cleaned up the pasta off the floor with the dustpan and walked into the wall, spilling the pasta again.

5. After dinner, I decided it was finally time to take a shower, and I squirted a large amount of facewash in my hands and began to wash my hair.

6. Rock bottom moment of the day: bawling during Rick Steves' Europe. Something is wrong with me.

I feel better today thankyouverymuch and today I can think.

Thank goodness.

So we should all be safe when I heat up pasta leftovers for the next 5 days.

Bathing Suit Shopping & Being One with Your Dimples, er, Stories.

Sometimes I wish bathing suit shopping consisted only of trying on tops.

Because bottoms SUCK.

Next week we go on our beach vacation and my current bathing suit is in the last stages of disintegration. The top is so loose that things are in danger of breaking free and that's worst case scenario in my book, except of course other than the bottoms breaking free, and we are at critical mass with both to be perfectly honest. If something's not done soon, there will be danger.

Also my husband so nicely pointed out that my black "tankini" is a "momsuit." (Isn't he nice.) This is what he calls black bathing suits in general. He says he can tell who all the moms are because they gather in gaggles of black bathing suits.

I want to tell him to shut up.

In fact I did tell him to shut up but of course he is right.

Me and all my friends have black bathing suits.

What is so wrong with black bathing suits anyway? They are flattering! And I don't see what the problem is having a black bathing suit if it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside and comfortable wearing a flimsy piece of fabric that puts my entire backside on display for society.

Anyways, last night I had to go bathing suit shopping and decided that no matter what I would actually get a new bathing suit and this time it won't be black like they have been for the past 6 years. But what does a person do instead of black? Patterns? Solids? Which solids?

I hate bathing suit shopping!

Bathing suit shopping means I have to also get in some sort of zen-like natural happy mode where I have to sort of psych myself up to be one with my beautiful lovely lady lumps. Because they take center stage in flourescence, ya know?

I want to be one with all my dimples and imperfections and generally I am (when I have pants on) but bathing suit shopping makes it especially difficult.

I don't even mind so much being out in public with my bathing suit because no one else seems to care about what they look like in a bathing suit and watching people being one with their curves is something I HEART SO MUCH! I'm trying to get there.

But being in the cubicle in flourescent lighting with your bathing suit on seems especially cruel, even if it is only you who is looking.

I always think to myself, "This summer I'm not going to hate bathing suit shopping!"

But it never happens. I always hate bathing suit shopping.

My top I can get behind. There is nothing to report up there.

But my bottom.

Well, I've decided my bottom has stories.

My legs are strong, I have great quads. They were great when I was a catcher in softball. They also rode me 40 miles on my bike last weekend and they can take me a really long ways for a really long time, dimples or not.

My legs pretty much rock.

My dimples however, don't rock. They are not pretty to look at and they make me hate bathing suit shopping. But if we're being honest here which we are, they have stories too, right? Like: oh that one I got from the Twix incident.

Or this dimple is 5 years old and it's named Aidan and this dimple is 3 years old and it's named Ryan.

And perhaps, this one right here is called "being in my mid-30's"...

Also, maybe, this one right here is called "need to lunge more" and  this one I'll give an Indian name,"Lack of Squats."

But so what, right?

I guess that as long as I can tell a story with each part, it doesn't matter if they're showing or not because there I am showing off my stories!

So I got a coral-colored tankini and it's great on top and I've got stories on the bottom.

That's one way to think about it anyway.

I gotta do what I gotta do.

What stories do your parts tell? And how was bathing suit shopping for you this year?

Only One Mickey Was Hurt During the Making of this Pancake.

It's Friday. School's out. I'm making pancakes.

I got the request to make a full-body Mickey pancake to which I shuddered because large pancakes only ever mean total annihilation followed by tears and feelings of loss that mommy doesn't have the skillset for an elaborate pancake (like apparently my husband does as proven in the Guess the Pancake Shape contest I held a couple weeks ago.)

The rest is a post best told in pictures.

Starting out well. Please refrain from comments of Mickey's design. The key here is to maintain an approximate shape with the end result being one piece. One piece is key.

This seems like it requires two spatulas. Time is running out. I have to figure this out quick or there will be a burned Mickey pancake.

Dammit! I panicked mid-flip! I can't handle this stress!

OK he made it. Sort of. With an, um, a broken neck. Poor Mickey. Very sorry. I will put a layer of syrup there so no one notices. Well, that didn't work. He noticed AND he's crying. But he's still eating it, so that's good. Onward to the next one!

Note to self: Mickey needs a big neck.

And a bigger spatula.

Success! (ps. shut up. I know he looks like a teddy bear.)

That's my excitement this Friday morning. Now we're off to make a Jake and the Neverland Pirates treasure box and some ice tray ice pops! Have a great weekend!

Lord Vader On Whirlwind Autograph Tour

Menacing

We have one autograph in our Disney autograph books and it's not Mickey. It's not Minnie. Not Donald, Daisy, Goofy, Pluto, Cinderella, Woody, Buzz, any of the Einsteins (am I missing anyone?)

No.

It's Darth Vader.

It seems a little weird to have Darth Vader on the first page of our little Mickey autograph books, even before Mickey himself, but it was Star Wars weekend at Hollywood Studios and all the characters were out.

Menacing

And it was no big deal to see the other characters signing autographs, but honestly I couldn't help laughing at Darth Vader, all tall and menacing in his dark cloak with his scary heavy breathing and all, standing there signing Mickey and Princess books.


Not Menacing

There was just something about it, I can't put my finger on it. He spent the day being both menacing and not menacing.

It was confusing!

Next you're gonna tell me he's starring on a Disney on Ice show.

Wait.

He really is starring in Disney on Ice?

Oh, whew. You scared me.

For a second I pictured Darth Vader skating around in his long black skirt all flowy and whatnot and I think any menace, force or authority he has in the universe would be promptly removed by the skates themselves and perhaps the triple sow cow in the choreography. Unless of course the Emperor got a final say on the choreography and struck any triple toe loops out of the program.

I know it's super exciting for the kids to wait in line for an hour to get Darth Vader's autograph but I wish there was a more menacing delivery for the autograph. Like perhaps ordering a Storm Trooper to do it after he gave them the "force hand claw" thing or something.

That might be cool.


Not really menacing but acceptable

Because honestly, Darth Vader, how can we take you seriously after this?

This is just silly.

(ps. There is a pretty interesting Caption Contest going on with the above picture  at my Facebook page. Sorry, no actual winner, just a lot of funny answers.)

Recaro Car Seat Review

A couple weeks ago I received a Recaro Car Seat to review and honestly when it was delivered, I was impressed by its sheer size.

It was big, if you can tell from the picture. The word I use for it is, "regal." (My regal Recaro.)

We pulled it out of the box and my three-year-old immediately climbed in.

And my five-year-old immediately commandeered the box. The box was even impressive.

We got a lot of use out of that box.

I hadn't even actually thought about purchasing a Recaro Car Seat while shopping for car seats honestly because I went with what was in our local Babies R Us and I chose a Britax based on reviews from friends. I also hadn't even heard of Recaro before, to be perfectly honest, but when I was flying a few weeks ago I saw the airline seats were made by Recaro and after doing some research on Recaro, I found out Recaro outfits seats in race cars too (and has for the past 40 years).

Also we've already grown out of the Britax Roundabout already and well, I'll tell you what I found with Recaro.

The seat I reviewed specifically was the Recaro ProRide Envy (the brown and green one below).

Aesthetically, they are all really, really pretty. But we don't judge the car seat by its cover, right? (Yeah right!)

My favorite things about the Recaro:

• I pulled it out of the box, it was fully assembled with latch and everything, I snapped it in the latch in my Honda Odyssey minivan, the end. It does also have a tether and can fit a seat belt through it as well.
• You do not have to adjust the straps by rethreading them like you do in the Britax (which was a big pain in the butt and which I hated having to keep doing.) It is already adjusted and you tighten simply at the bottom as needed.
• It is big, but it fit in the back of my sister-in-law's Jetta just fine. 
• The headrests look so comfortable! And they are! He is cushioned in there nice and snug with headrests that are actually crash-tested side-impact protectors with comfort foam.
• I love the 5 point harness. It will fit him until 70 pounds and 50 inches long, which for my 3 year old, will be a long, long time. Especially because he is short. And honestly we have just bought a regular booster for my 5 year old, but I am not quite comfortable with him being in just the booster with the seat-belt yet. There is a "ProSport" version of this seat that I really love in the blue, it has a 5 point harness up to 90 pounds and converts to a traditional booster after that, so now I want to switch! He's still only 44 inches long so I have plenty of time for some more 5 point harnessing if I want it!
• The meshy fabric is really breathy and he doesn't get hot and sweaty in our 90 degree 100% humidity Florida-ness. Also, the fabric dries really easy when someone might happen to forget to bring dry clothes for after the beach or spray park (not that I've done that.)

Here are the features up close:


We have been riding around in this seat for weeks now, with food sometimes too, and it is easily wipeable. The cover is also removable for hand washing, however, the material has been very easy to clean so far without removing it.

There is nothing I don't really like about this seat but there are a few things to think about:

• I haven't used this seat rear-facing. I have read great reviews about it rear-facing from 6 months on up and I have read it fits in most cars, I've only read one where it was too big for rear-facing. I know that forward facing, it fits fine.
• You may need a towel or a noodle to make sure it is level when it's rear-facing, but it's the same with a Britax.
• The buckle on the seat slips back toward his bottom and I have to fish it out but whatever, no big deal.
• I've read complaints that the straps twist and sometimes they do, but also, not that big of a deal to me.
• You really have to press that button to get the straps to come out, but honestly I think that should be in the "pros" category too because he can't unlatch himself no matter how hard he would ever try.

The safety of the seat is number 1 to me and it's very cushiony, exceeds European testing standards which are tougher than U.S. standards and when I look at him back there, I know he is as close to bubble wrapped as he can get in the real world and I like that.

If you go out into the internet and see the reviews, you will see this seat has 4 or 5 stars in most places and I agree with them. I wish I knew about this seat when they were younger! So now I hope to pass it on to all of you!

The price is comparable to the Britax Roundabout (maybe a little more pricey but definitely worth it) but you can find it online through Amazon  with free shipping and free returns (always a bonus.) There are also promo codes and coupons out there on the internet so shop around. It's also available at Target and Wal-Mart.

There you have it! I hope you enjoy this seat like we are!

Disclosure: BSM Media sent me the Recaro for testing. I was not compensated for this post. The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

Today, He Graduates Pre-School

OH my.goodness. I just got overwhelmed writing that.

My teeny tiny baby is going to kindergarten next year.

I need a moment.

Talk amongst yourselves I'll give you a tawpic: the cold war was neither cold, nor war. Discuss.

UPDATED 2 P.M.

OK I'm back.

What a day it's been. I've cried my eyes out twice.

I've held onto my two little babies and cried because their tiny little voices, their little tiny man-ness just goes so quickly that all I wanted to do was hold on and squeeze that moment for as long as I can.

Right now they are still 5 & 3 but tomorrow, they will be 25 & 23 and then the day after that they will be 45 & 43 (and their tiny butts won't be nearly as cutesy as they are now).

I want so badly to stop time.

But today, I will just hug.

Really, really hard.

Lessons Learned Through Graham Crackers

Today I managed to turn a graham cracker into a lesson on how to not be selfish and how to accept people and things with disabilities.

I know. It's a stretch. I was trying to get myself out of trouble.

On days like these I'm proud of myself but then again one day they'll catch on and think mommy's a big giant buzzkill for turning graham crackers into life lessons. They'll also catch on to things like the fact that I was so busy this morning I dressed them up in their bathing suits and completely forgot to pack dry clothes and made them drove home wrapped up in towels.

Bad mommy.

Nevermind with that.

Anyway.

Today I was rifling in my bag while driving home from the spray park for the graham crackers everyone was whining about and when I pulled the first two out, they broke in half.

*shudder*

I knew this was going to be a problem so I gave two halves to each kid, completely prepared for the wrath about to ensue for my failure to deliver one big whole graham cracker to each of them and instead a "broken" one. Kid #1 happily chomped away. (Surprise!) Kid #2 started crying. (No surprise).

Mommy it's broken! I don't want a broken one! I want a nother big cacker!

Too bad.

Er.

What I mean is: (calmly) "We can eat what we've been given or we can have no graham crackers."

I know. I'm mean. But for some reason in this case, I felt the need to stand my ground on this one. The "be thankful" lesson. The "no whining until you get something" lesson. Some other lesson I can't think of right now.

Then I don't want ANY CACKERS!

"OK then, hand them to me. If you want a graham cracker next time, you can ask me nicely and apologize for not being thankful the first time."

Oh boy. I know. I'm getting carried away here.

Few minutes goes by.

Mommy?

Can I peese have a cacker?

Sowwy.

Hallelujah! Message receieved! Job done. (Surprised. Totally surprised. I'm awesome.)

A few miles down the road, kid #1 asked me for another graham cracker and as I was pulling out the graham cracker while driving, it brushed up against the plastic and shaved the corner off. Egad, what is wrong with me?!

It was a big huge cracker, but the corner shaved off. I handed it to him anyway secretly flinching.

Maybe he won't notice.

Yeah right.

My cracker's broken!

Doh!

Um. Think. Think. Think!

Yes, but it's still a cracker, right? I mean, if you see a person missing a foot, he's not less of a person right? He's still a person, right? So a cracker missing a corner is still a cracker right?

Silence.
"Right," he says. (chomp.) Smile.

Ohmigod I'm a genius.

He even looked SATISFIED AND HAPPY AS A HUMAN BEING!

OK so yes, really, it started out as me trying to get myself out of trouble, (why can't I deliver the big cracker properly!?) but I think we all learned a valuable lesson from the graham cracker today, what do you think?

Kid # 1: a graham cracker (person) is still a graham cracker (person), even if it's broken a little.

Kid #2: be thankful for whatcha got...two halves equal a whole, or look! You have two crackers instead of one!

And me: figure out how to freakin open a box of graham crackers. And if you can't, make some stuff up that sounds really good and happens to simultaneously teach a life lesson. (When do they figure out us moms are sometimes full of crap? I hope never.)

The end.

Do You Have a "Mom Uniform?"

One of two "mom uniforms." Shockingly, I did not have to scroll far to find a picture of it.

It occurred to me when I was packing for LA a couple of weeks ago that I have a few nice clothes but if I ever chose to wear them, I'd be way overdressed for my daily duties which include but are not limited to: blogging, computering, cleaning, exercising, volunteering at school, driving around in the minivan, being a sideline mom, etc etc etc.

It is either a dress, black pants and a dress shirt, or the daily mom uniform. There's really not much in between.

Yes I have a "mom uniform." Actually, I have two.

Last summer my mom uniform was a black tank top and cargo shorts.

This winter though, tank tops and shorts were out of the question and I turned to 1 of three dri fit triathlon teeshirts and my one pair of yoga pants, which are my go-to workout pants. I am wearing them right now.

They have since developed a small hole in the knee that only I can see, yet I refuse to retire them because I'm short and these are the only yoga pants in the world that fit my shortness.

Im a ball of hotness. I know.

However, the black tank top and cargo shorts are back. To me, it's a classic. To others, it's a "classic" they get to see when they don't see the dri-fit and yoga pants.

The "mom uniform" doesn't bother me until I see a mom dressed to the nines at dropoff for school, especially if I know she's of the stay at home variety, and then I pretend I'm off for a really heavy workout, even if I know I am not. Because a workout somehow justifies the uniform. Otherwise it's just me letting myself go. And who wants to admit that?

I've often wondered when moms turn the corner from stylish to "mom" where the mom jeans enter the picture, sneakers with jeans enter the picture only to complete the downward spiral in the form of the eventual housecoat with a Diet Rite in the pocket.

I thought in my 20s it happened abruptly.

I see now that it's gradual.

Because I have begun sneakers with jeans.

I would NEVER have done sneakers with jeans in a million years. Flip flops, yes. Boots, yes. Cute small heels, sure.

Sneakers, NEVER.

I tried to talk myself through it saying they were cool because they're black sneakers.

But really they're just sneakers.

The fashion decline has begun.

The slippery slope.

I notice myself troll through my closet only to pick out things that are in the following categories: "good enough" for today, "not dirty," and "haven't worn that in a day or two."

Also recently I was all excited inside about the St. Anthony's triathlon because I got a new dri-fit teeshirt in a girlie size that has now entered the rotation! Something new! Hurrah! (It's not good enough to be dri-fit, it has to be a GIRLIE fit too. The man-fit dri-fit doesn't work for me.)

I know.

Pathetic.

I'm going shopping.

As soon as I have a window.

In a couple of weeks. Or so.

So I wonder, do you have a mom uniform? When did it begin?

FRESH: The Cereal Bar (AKA Happy Hour for Kids.)

This is how you get 23 preschoolers to sit still in a restaurant. (Feel free to click on the picture to get a better look.)

Yes.

It is a wall of cereal.

And up top, there are cartoons.

You must be thinking, "How do I get me to one of these?"

It is that cool.

I want to briefly explain that in this rare instance of sugarycerealoverflow, for a brief two hours of time on this day, I removed my normal "mom" "health" "cautious" consciousness from my body and allowed my inner 5 year old to occupy this space. Because I can only imagine what 5 year old "me" would have thought when I walked into a place with a giant wall of cereal and cartoons playing on a giant television or two. I allowed myself to feel that for this day.

We went to the Glazer Children's Museum but this was the real star of the show: a restaurant called, "Fresh," in downtown Tampa.

Don't get me wrong, the children's museum was awesome and fun, but this place had a soda fountain with cream soda and black cherry soda!

I don't even remember the last time I had cream soda! Much less from a fountain!

Walking into this place was like walking into some magical cereal wonderland. The look on the children's faces when they saw the cereal wall was a look of absolute incomprehension. You could almost see the wheels turning.

Oh, a restaurant. (Looks at shoes.)

Wait. What? (Looks of wonderment.)

What is that up there? (Looks of disbelief)

Is that Fruit Loops? Is that Cocoa Puffs? Is this every type of cereal my parents won't let me have, all in one place on one wall? (Looks of astonishment)

(Am I allowed to have it?) (Looks of helpless plea-ing)

Then, the turn to mom for confirmation.

And then the mom, nodding yes.

(Looks of absolute joy and glee and overwhelming unmatched happiness!!!)

Every kind of cereal you could think of going across the wall along with two huge tvs up on top of that lovely wall that the lovely folks at Fresh turned to the Cartoon Network.

Being a class of 20-something preschool and kindergarten kids between ages 4-6 in a restaurant got us some looks from the business crowd, and yes, there was a large business crowd (the mayor of Tampa was even in there) but, I couldn't help but wonder, there is a CEREAL BAR here, how is it that WE are the weird ones?!

To Fresh's credit, the restaurant is actually a magical wonderland of paninis and salads too, I mean, every sort of pressed panini you can think of.  I had some delicious fresh mozzerella, tomato, pressed grilled melty fabulousness but I had a hard time deciding between the lovely sandwiches and the ginormous salads of love.

However, I was also really blown away by the fact that I could actually order without madness ensuing. My 5 year old was happily chomping away at his vat of cereal in a box while I had time to order, get my cream soda, actually finish my sandwich AND have an actual conversation with another parent and go get some more cream soda to go.

Now I tried to keep my mouth shut on the fact that I caught them filling up the Fruit Loops with fakey fruit rings and to be perfectly honest the fruit rings don't bother me, I just don't want to KNOW that they're fruit rings, so if they could just fill it up in the back and leave my ignorance to its bliss so as to leave the magic enchanted cereal forest unfettered and untainted, I'd sure appreciate that. Now if they could just send the mind eraser over...

Anyways, I know that this may not be the first time you've ever heard of a place like this, but it is for me!

And it was nothing short of kid/parent heaven.

(Yes, I know, I know, cereal for lunch, sugar, la la la la la not healthy, what.ever.)

This was CEREAL ON A WALL, PEOPLE!

You gotta live sometime!

And to my 5 year old whose choices are usually Cheerios, Rice Krispies or Oatmeal, that was just about the coolest thing ever.

Go to there if you get a chance.

It is way cheaper than Disney World and it yields the exact same effect.

Nose Holes

Most kids have some defining feature about them, either on their face or body or somewhere else. Something distinctive. Curly hair, big eyes, maybe a space in their teeth, their shortness, their tallness, whatever.

For my youngest son, who's three, it's his nose holes.

Most people call them "nostrils," but for some reason, his are not nostril-like in any way. I don't know what it is.

They are literally nose holes.

I cannot keep my eyes off them.

I just yelled at him for spitting while sitting at the table at lunch and had to look away because I couldn't help but stare into his nose holes.

It is the only thing I see when I look at him.

They are ridiculously cute nose holes and they are also very very funny. When I look at them they seem to tell a joke to me in their own tiny individual ways and I die inside of laughter. They are standup comic nose holes.

I don't know why and I don't even know how to describe it.

It is a tiny nose. With two nose holes.

They transfix me as if they were deep blue electric eyes.

Only they aren't.

They are nose holes.

Obviously the only time they are hideous is when there is something in them. And something in a nose hole to me is far worse than anything sprouting from any other orifice, for some reason, even if it cometh out of a particularly cute nose hole. I cannot stand anything actually in, around, or from a nose hole.

However.

Sometimes I'll look over at him while he's eating and I'll catch sight of the nosehole and I'll have that warm fuzzy "die of cuteness" feeling wash over me. It makes me forget what I was thinking about and completely lose my train of thought.

Or sometimes I'll be yelling at him, but then I'll catch sight of the nose holes and I'll die inside of laughter and it completely ruins the yelling moment for me. If I'm not careful I will laugh on the outside and that is disastrous when I'm trying to make a very serious and important point.

The nose holes are funny. They have a ridiculous hold over me.

Perhaps the nose holes are a survival mechanism, an animal-like feature given to him as a natural defense, I mean no one can do anything to a person with entirely too cute nose holes. They are like a lure or a pheromone, once you catch sight of it, your own defenses are useless against them.


See?

Even now he's talking to me and I can't even look at him. I don't even know what he's saying! His mouth is moving but all I can do is stare at the nose holes!

The nose holes are killing me!

I mean, you know how when someone's zipper is open and they're talking to you and you don't even hear what they are saying because all you are is focused on the fact that their zipper is open and you can't concentrate on anything else?

This is the nose holes. Only way less mortifying.

I can try and take a picture of the nose holes but there is no question that you'll have no idea what I'm talking about when you see it. It might be something only a mom can see.

In fact, I don't know why I'm even writing about them (who writes about nose holes?) except for the fact that he was just talking to me and I have no idea what he was saying because the nose holes were staring at me and reducing me to laughter once again.

So I think perhaps the nose holes used the force to subliminally message me to write about them, because in response to him, all I could do was nod, give him some cookies and open up the computer to secretly give the nose holes the last word.

So there you go. That's my story about the nose holes.

Do you have anyone in your life who has a defining feature that makes your defenses useless??

Or is this just me?

Hilarious and Fun Mother's Day Gift Idea: Flower Pot Heads

There are only a few days before Mother's Day and if you're looking for something adorable I've got something for you! This is also great for a Mother-in-Law, grandparent, sister, aunt, etc! Any woman who loves babies and flowers, really! Or funny picture heads, ya know.

First, you need a fantastic picture of one of the kids. Or you. Whichever. It should be filled with genuine hilarity, if possible. However I suppose a calm serene look could be equally as funny. Perhaps any head will do. But I love this particular look of hilarity myself.

Try playing peekaboo or snapping a picture during a ticklefest or something, something that you know makes the kids/baby/yourself laugh real hard to the point of almost peeing.

These pictures were taken when the kids were hiding behind the slidey bathroom door before bath time, I would throw the door open and scare them and they thought this was the funniest thing ever.

I zoomed in on the picture in my Photoshop editor (any old picture editor will do), printed the picture and cut out only their laughing heads.

Then, you need the following for the craft part of it:

• scissors
• tape or doublesided tape or glue tape or glue or glue gun, really, anything fastening, ok maybe not velcro or tacks though
• construction paper or paper already shaped in flowers (the above ones I got some in the scrapbook section of Michaels, already made, but you can cut out your own flowers out of construction paper if you want)
• popsicle sticks
• stickers (optional)
• teeny tiny terra cotta pots (Michaels)
• terra cotta writing pen (same section of Michaels as terra cotta pots)
• floral foam (same section of Michaels as terra cotta pots)
• moss (same section of Michaels as terra cotta pots)

Directions:
First, find great pictures, print them out and cut out the faces/heads only.

Then, cut out flower shapes from construction paper or use the already-made flowers like above and fasten the babyheads to the middle by using double-sided tape (glue or regular tape will do too, I like that glue runner thing for scrapbooking).

Fasten the flowers to the popsicle sticks using glue or tape.

Cut out a small amount of flower foam to fit the terra cotta pot you got and stick it in the pot.

Stick the popsicle stick in the foam and cover the foam up with moss. Voila!

You can decorate the pot with the terra cotta writing pen with the name of your mom, grandma, aunt, whomever, bedazzle it with stickers or sticker jewels from the scrapbooking section of Michaels, whatever you want!


It makes a unique, cute gift and it can go anywhere. Your loved one will always have these flower faces smiling at them!

Happy Mother's Day moms, grandmas, and everyone with children in their lives!

Do you have a quick and easy Mother's Day craft? If you post it, link up below!

Mad Science Party Part II: Rockets, Ooze and Goo

OK this part of the Mad Science party is a post best told in pictures.

How to get 28 kids between ages 4-9 to sit quietly.

Making of the volcano.

Spewing.

Mentos and coke, stand back, men!



Thar she blows!



Preparing for launch.

5-4-3-2-1...

BLAST OFF!

Everyone, run straight toward the road to find the where the rocket landed!

Cake!

"Favor "bags. OK Biohazard favor bags. Free from my friend who works at a hospital!

Contents of biohazard bag: pop rocks, "light saber" and "plasma sample" (i.e. slime). The kids also made a bouncy ball from scratch as one of the experiments that they got to take home.

And that's the wrap!

If you missed it, Part I of the Mad Science Party is here (decorations, invitations, etc.)

Planning a Mad Scientist Party!!! The Best Party to Plan Ever! Part I

So you want to plan a Mad Scientist birthday party?!

I'm so excited I got to do this. My 5 year old is a science freak and to be honest with you, most kids ages 4 and up are. I mean who doesn't love stuff that fizzes, bounces, foams and shoots into the sky?!

I came across this theme unexpectedly. I was at a loss for a theme for this party and I love throwing themed parties. I have done Elmo Music, Race Car, Jungle, Cowboy, and Firefighter (email me if you are interested in any of these, I will post be posting about them too!)

I was leaning toward "astronaut" because we just saw the Discovery shuttle launch or "pirate" because a treasure hunt would have been fun, but then I came across this: Mad Science Tampa Bay, a company that brings the experiments to YOU!

Now, I lucked out here on this because I didn't have to come up with my own experiements but the good thing is that Mad Science has locations all across the world  (Click HERE to find a location near you!) not just here in Tampa Bay. There are two locations in Tampa Bay, by the way, one that serves the Tampa area and one that serves Pinellas. And both of them are super accomodating. Sidenote: I had to change my party date pretty quickly because of my trip to LA that popped up but not only did the St. Pete branch quickly accomodate me, the Tampa location was willing to if St. Pete couldn't, so they are all really nice and accomodating.

My favorite thing about this though was that you could hold the party at any location (for me it was at Safety Harbor City Park which is free to residents), have a huge guest list and the price is very affordable (unlike bouncy house places that allow for 15 kids and it costs hundreds of dollars without food.)

Now, the party itself was affordable, but darn it if I could keep myself from spending time on money on cool decorations, which I couldn't help myself! Also note: clearly think out the guest list (class? no class?) because honestly, this turned out to be such a cool theme that parents didn't want to pass it up, so if you invite them, THEY WILL COME. The good part though is that it almost doesn't matter how many people you have because the rates are so reasonable, however it might matter when it comes to food and favors. Just a thought.



So I will start first with the invitations and decorations.

Invitations

I used clipart basically and some wording I found online and put it together in Photoshop. I took one copy to Kinkos and copied it onto fun green paper and used green, blue and red envelopes.


Decorations

For decorations, I found a lot of cool ideas online. First I made a Mad Scientist Hall of Fame.

I printed out pictures of famous mad scientists (Dr. Doofenschmirtz and Dr. Evil were my favorites) but also there was Doc from Back to the Future, Dr. Frankenstein, and I had two pictures of my kids from a children's museum where they were mixing "chemicals" i.e. colored water and I used those too. I printed them out as 8 x 10's in black and white (to save ink) except for Dr. Doofenschmirtz who deserved to be in color, and I took them to Kinkos and laminated them for $2 each. I hung up a piece of string and used a clothes pin to hang them.

I also found these at the dollar store. Sweet!

I bought a cylinder set and test tubes from an educational store in Tampa (a SUPER STORE, ACTUALLY called "Lakeshore Learning"!) and filled them all with colored water. I bought dry ice which was only $1.50 a pound at my local grocery store and put dry ice chips in them to make an experiment display.

I have never used dry ice before. Have you? The only thing is, it melts pretty quickly. So you have to keep putting ice chips in it. Which was fine because it looked.REALLY.COOL. But I kept having to replenish it which was sort of annoying. I probably should have used big chunks and less water, so you can learn from me!

I found signs at the party store, they were joke signs that said "quarantine," "toxic waste," and things like that, but we had to black out some of the wording on one of them because of some adult language that I didn't notice at first (whoops! I guess the word "prostitute" at a kids' birthday party is a little inappropriate!) But it was fine print anyway so you could barely see it.

Birthday Boy!

Mad Science gave the birthday boy his own lab coat as chief mad scientist.

I wanted so.badly. to get lab coats for every child and online there are really reasonable rates for disposable lab coats. However, don't wait till the last minute on this. If you want to do this, do it early so shipping prices are cheap or free. I made that mistake. I waited too long, BUT, that's ok because it was so hot outside and I would have cooked all the children if we used them. So it was a blessing in disguise. If you're interested in lab coats though, I found some online for cheap here, at Mr. Disposable, on Ebay, Amazon and on Overstock.com. So they're out there.

What I did instead:

Nametags for each "mad scientist intern." When they came in, they went to the check-in table, got a full body scan (i.e. glow stick with me saying "beep! beep!" as I waved it around them, "cleared" them, and handed them their name tag.)

The name tags worked out well because the head "Mad Scientist" could call the volunteers by  name and also because we had a lot of kids who didn't know each other, so they could read the name tags (or at least parents could.) Also, everyone knew who the party crashers were too! Because we had two child party crashers who didn't have nametags who were mooching off our pizza.

I used colorful table cloths (orange and bright blue) and found little labels like "hypothesis" and "purpose" and taped them all over them. My mom said she overheard the parents and children talking about these words, so that part ended up being educational! On some of the other tables, I taped cutouts of black question marks. I also found squishy monster heads in the dollar store and put them in jars on the table and used rubber gloves for balloons and caution tape.

The caution tape ended up being AWESOME because it kept the kids out of the "danger zone."

Food

Honestly? Food wasn't the star of this party since it was at 3:30 and the party was packed with experiments, so I kept it simple. We had pizza, I made a fruit salad, had individual bags of chips on the tables and coolers full of bottled water, Capri Sun and soda. And cake. That's pretty much it. However, this ended up being super cool!

Kool-Aid just came out with Kool-Aid Fizzies!

So I had tiny bottled water for each child and gave them a tablet so they could fizz their water. Little tiny experiments! (That was my mom's idea, thanks mom!) That was a huge hit!


It was a packed house.

I am pretty sure everyone had a good time.


I'm "this many."


This one was in his glory.

Tomorrow I'll be posting the favors, the cake and the actual awesome experiments!
* * *
Part II of the party is HERE.