Be like George Costanza. Do the OPPOSITE

It's no secret that I live half my life according the Seinfeld series.

My life in fact is made of up a series of Tommy Boy and Seinfeld references and I seem to surround myself with people who do the same.

This week I had a good workout and decent nutrition week and I realize now it's because I emulated my hero, George Costanza who said:

"I ALWAYS have tuna on toast. Nothing's ever worked out for me with tuna on toast. I want the complete opposite of tuna on toast!

Do you remember that episode? (Go watch a minute, it hilarious).

Of course it's not about the tuna, it's about going against my instincts to do the following: eat french fries, be lazy, cut my workout short and eat badly. (Of course he goes on to "get the girl" because he did the opposite of what he would have normally done... so see? It must work, right?)

What happens is the usual tale about mind versus body. My body tells me one thing (it's lazy, it's craving something, etc.) My brain begins to consider these things as fact and eventually becomes convinced somehow that my body is right even when it isn't and then it eventually agrees to whatever sabotaging setup my body has created for itself.

Well no more!

Because I'm doing the opposite!

When I want fast food, I eat good food!

When I wanna be lazy, I will do whatever the opposite of lazy is at the time! (I can't think of the opposite word for lazy. But in this scenario it probably has something to do with folding and putting away laundry and/or making time for exercise.)

When I want to flight I'm gonna fight!

When my instinct is fear, I'm gonna be fearless!

See, the more George disobeyed his instincts, which usually got him into trouble, the more successful he became! And it worked for me last week so this is what I'm doing.

I'M DOING THE OPPOSITE!

I suppose if you're on the right track already, doing the opposite will not work. So don't do that.

If not, turn off your brain and DO THE OPPOSITE!

And see what happens.

3 Reasons You Should Never Wait to Work Out

I cannot tell you how many times this weekend I cornered off a part of my day to work out only to be completely derailed.

My weekend was madness.

However, it was not without its learning experiences, especially about getting off my arse early and getting out the door when there's an opportunity because that opportunity just might not come again for a long while. You really just never know what the future will hold for you.

So if you're waffling on your workout right now, as we speak, read this AND THEN GO. Mkay?

TOP THREE REASONS YOU SHOULD NOT WAIT TO MOVE YOUR BUTT OUT THE DOOR

1. You spend the morning cleaning because there are people coming over and you think it's so much better to get all the cleaning done first before you go to the gym so that you won't have to worry about cleaning right up until the time that your guests get there. In theory, this sounds fabulous! But just go to the gym first mkay? Because otherwise, you will have cleaned the whole house, gone to the gym, put your swim cap on, zeroed out your watch and just as soon as you're about to take your first lap, the phone rings and you have a bloodied three-year-old who smashed his face on the coffee table who has to go to urgent care.

2. You call that workout a wash because you go to urgent care (he's ok, we have to see a dentist because he ripped his gums all up) and your friend's coming over to go out. You have a big workout in the morning so losing the swim is ok. You can just do the big workout tomorrow. However, you go to bed at 3:30 a.m. and you fail to wake up in time for said workout. And then, ahem, you don't really feel up for working out at this point. You haven't had sleep and your head hurts (from all the loud music of course), so Monday it is!

3. You spend Sunday securing your workout partners for the long workout you intended to do on Sunday and you're all set for Monday! Hurrah! At this point, all you'll have missed is a swim. NO BIGGIE! You get all your gear together, your workout clothes are all ready, all you have to do is throw your bike in the car at 6 a.m. and go. However. At 3:30 a.m. you wake up in a shot. Things are not good. And you remember the stomach virus that hath overtaken your son last Thursday. You thought you were out of the woods until.....you leave a message for your workout partners saying that you won't make it this time around. And you go on to lose three pounds that day. (I guess that's the bonus of a stomach virus, right?)

In sum, it all started out with the missed swim. You think it's just going to be one workout, but then it turns to two and then possibly three. Do you see how fast it all falls apart? And only one of those things was my fault! Everything else was just life! Learn from me! Do not wait! Waiting leads to more waiting which leads to more waiting and then before you know it, you're screwed!

So, take it from me. If you're doing the wiggly waffle this morning, get a hold of yourself! Figure out your priorities and make sure that everything you do lines up with those. And then do it!

Don't wait.

Cause tomorrow you could be in urgent care or hugging the bowl (or both).

Trust me.

Hope you all had a Happy 4th of July!

Ps. COME TO MY TWITTER PARTY TOMORROW!!

8 P.M. ET, PRIZES SPONSORED BY GIRLZ N GEAR!!! Leave your twitter handle below if you plan on coming! SEE YOU THERE!

Weigh In Work Out Wednesday! My First Open Water Swim of the Season

There were lots of people at the beach last week when we went for our first open water swim of the season but only two of them were in the water.

I don't know why though because even though the water felt sortof cold, it was certainly no where near the unbearable I felt last winter when my friend Melanie and I literally ran in and ran out of the water. That was freezing.

It was a great 1/2 mile swim and with my good buddy Leona pictured up top! Hooray!! Tri season is almost officially here!



It's that time of week again, time to check in! And guess who checked in with me? A 1.5 pound loss checked in with me! Woot! The loss showed up this week! I'm so happy to see you, 1.5 pound loss! I was just hoping for 1 but you brought extra!

Lots of exclamation marks this week because it was sort of a struggle with eating.

First, there was St. Patty's Day, which was completely under control; I worked out and burned extra, I measured my corned beef much to the chagrin of a family member who called my measuring "ridiculous" but that doesn't bother me. Really. No it doesn't.

Then, came Friday. I was all out of calories for the day when we were headed out for date night, but I went ahead with the beer and the Veggie Patch Pizza at Applebees (oh, you say that 1 entire Veggie Patch Pizza is not a single serving? Oh, just 1/8th of it is? Or 1/6th? Well why didn't you mention that BEFORE I ate the whole thing!? But it can't be that bad, it has VEGGIE in the name! There's spinach! Oh, there are 900 CALORIES IN THE WHOLE THING?)

I went back to a voice I once heard that said, "One meal won't break you."

It won't. It just wont.

I worked out the next day, came under my calories, worked out hard on Sunday and came under calories again and ya know what?

It all equalled out.

Calorie counting is hard.

The choices are hard. Especially when food is everywhere.

Birthday parties are the hardest because everyone in my family equates celebrating with food.

So on Sunday, I ate before I left for a birthday party, said no to the hamburgershotdogsandbeans, said yes to the birthday brownie and went home and ate my own dinner. I came under calories, enjoyed the birthday party (does "celebrating" have to mean eating? No, "celebrating" is when my presents are a HIT and they scramble to open up the boxes of MY presents because MY PRESENTS ROCK! And all they do for the rest of the party is play with MY PRESENTS while their friends OGLE!! Now, that's celebrating.)

In the end of my weekly eating wrap up that this turned out to be, yes I enjoyed that pizza and that one brownie. No more saying "I'm bad" for eating. No more judging myself. Just choices.

Now, the hardest part about calorie counting is when I'm spent on calories and I'm STARVING still. The choice about what's the lowest in calories but the most filling is HARD when I'm blinded by hunger! But then I have a Chobani or a bowl of corn flakes and maybe I go over a few calories, but if I'm STARVING, I'm listening to my body about it.

Alright, enough about eating. (Can you tell I'm still trying to figure this thing out?)

The victories are everywhere in my week: conscious eating decisions, a reversal of an unconscious eating decision, all my workouts plus a great 6 mile run in the HEAT! Standing strong when people think I'm crazy for calorie counting, and in the end, 1.5 pounds closer to in shape for tri season!

Oh, wait! Have I mentioned I'm selling Bondi Bands? It's Bondis for Babies! If you buy one, the money goes to fight prematurity!!! Please check out my Bondi Bands here, they're great! (There's 26.2, "Looks like Walking, Feels Like Running," "FOCUS," SHUT UP AND RUN," and many many more!) Thanks to Deb for being my first supporter!!!! Love you!

How did you do this week?

Work Out Weigh In Wednesday!

Hooray it is working, my God it is working!

Down 1.5 this week for a total of 3 for the challenge so far!

GO TEAM Sass & Fury!!

I can't help it I really don't like counting and measuring but I really do love My Fitness Pal if I am going to have to log! My husband is on it too now so we're both counting calories, which makes things easier for sure.

Here's something I read in Runner's World Magazine this week: Log when and what you eat, but also log WHERE you eat it. Is it at the table? At the couch? See where I'm going with it? You could pinpoint a bad habit or be doing what my 4 year old wants to do, which is eat out of boredom and not really hunger. I never even thought of that but it seems so simple!

Anyway, I did go over my calories Saturday at the Strawberry Festival (what a bugger it was to log that!) and its make-your-own-strawberry-shortcake but I had a ride and a run on Sunday and came well under my calories Sunday too to make up for it.

Workouts last week:
Wednesday: Swim 1500m (swimsuit blowout)
Thurs: Workout with Trainer, 4 mile run with group that was faster than me but I just gotta get over myself, right?
Fri: Spin bike 45 mins
Sat: Day off
Sun: 17.5 mile ride (17.5 mph avg) 3 mi run (29 mins)
Mon: 2,000 m swim
Tues: off

Oh yeah and I'm a little behind in 100 pushup challenge but I'm still hanging in there, hitting middle of week two! I maxed 20 at the end! Woot!

Goals for week ahead: just keep logging just keep logging just keep logging logging logging...

How are you doing??

Getting Out the Door is Like Battling the Universe Sometimes

I don't know what was with the universe last week but for some reason it did not want me to go out for my swim on one night in particular and if I'd have read the signs, I'd have just given up and turned back home.

But then let the universe win?

Noway.

I waited for my husband to get home from work and after eating dinner, I was saying goodnight to the kids. They wanted one story and then another. And then a drink of water and then some potty and more water and potty. No one wanted to sleep of course and it didn't matter anyway, I wasn't really needing to put them to bed it's just that it was taking me too long to extract myself from the situation.

So I finally did and let my husband do the dealing while I searched for my missing bathing suit and goggles.

I looked in the car for my goggles, I turned my room upside down, I found them hiding completely out in the open of course but I never found my bathing suit so I took one with me I hadn't worn in a while and then went to leave and couldn't find my keys.

So then I searched for my keys which I had left where I had found my goggles of course.

I headed to the door and the boys knew I was leaving so they came out to say goodbye and we did kisses then one of them plopped down on my foot and held my leg and wouldn't let go. And this went on for however much longer until I finally gave last hugs and got out the door.

I finally left and had to run a quick errand before the gym and when I went up to pay, the register froze and wouldn't let the customers in front of me pay and then wouldn't let me pay.

Longest line ever.

I get to the gym and put my stuff in my locker.

I left my goggles in the car.

Latest swim ever.

Maybe I'll get into the pool by 9 if I'm lucky.

I get my goggles, return to the locker room and put my swimsuit on. Finally, the very last step before actually getting into the pool! Hurrah!

Then quickly realized why I hadn't chosen to wear this particular swimsuit in a while.

The spandex in the back was worn and fighting for its own dear life to stay together. This is my second embarrassing swimsuit blowout.

That's unfortunate.

All you could see was black bathing suit, black bathing suit, until you get down toward my big white tuckus showing proudly through my black bathing suit where the spandex had worn out. And perhaps showing a little bit out the front too. On the top. Probably the two biggest purposes of coverage for the bathing suit in general and it was failing in both regions.

Very obviously the last time I will be wearing this bathing suit.

But I swam anyway, dammit, with all my parts happily submerged in the pool and quickly embraced by a towel upon pool exit.

So take that universe who tried to thwart me.

Me: 1
Universe: Zero.

Flailing Around In a Mirrored Room with Three Elderly Ladies, i.e. Zumba

So just when I think I have completely exhausted blog topics, a complete stranger from the gym grabs me by the arm and pulls me into Zumba.

Well at my gym it's not called, "Zumba," it's called "Latin Heat." But still it's the same, the instructor wearing skin-tight leopard print pants assured me. Just in case I was worried which I wasn't.

Upon first glance, one might think she would have been a little too old to wear pants like those but who am I to judge (no one) because if someone is going to teach Zumba you'd almost expect them to be wearing leopard pants anyway despite their age and besides, she told us those were her "Vegas pants", and those are perfectly acceptable pants for Vegas (in fact it's almost silly NOT to wear pants like that in Vegas.)

But she was definitely a character and not some stuffy instructor and I love eclectic ladies I hope I am one some day.

So anyways, I had thought that this was Body Pump because I can do Body Pump, which is usually just loud music while you're lifting weights a thousandty times in a row or until you fail (or both.) It really requires no coordination whatsoever and having tried step class before and almost killed myself (whole class turns one way, I turn the other, flailing limbs and climbing, and then you add a hop somewhere in there and it's just a disaster. To music.) I usually refrain from coordination-based classes.

So I asked if this was "Body Pump" like it says on the schedule and was told "no," even though I knew just from walking in the room that I had either walked into another dimension or the movie "Cocoon."

 But one of the ladies yelled, "Stay! Stay!" and so I can't say no to that, I just can't. Besides, I've always wanted to try Zumba.

So I stayed.

The class started out simply, there was some latin music and some Cha Cha (I can do Cha Cha) and then there was some spinning around doing the Cha Cha (which was too much for my brain to process) and arm windmills and shuffling and I'd spend a few moves trying to catch up to the moves that the instructor was doing and I'd finally "get it" at least the moves, but they weren't "pretty moves," none of this actually flowed well, and then the song would end. Right when I "got it."

Eventually during a song I could feel my body moving on its own but still I am sure that I looked like one of those guys at a dance club who is just SURE that he can dance and feels the music moving within him but looks completely ridiculous.

I tried really hard to ignore the huge window behind me where the muscley men would sidle up and check out what was going on inside.

Which must have been sort of funny because there was me and three elderly ladies desperately trying to follow a lady in tight leopard pants and big earrings.

I did spend half the class just trying to "loosen up" because if you're going to Zumba with three elderly ladies and a woman in tight leopard print pants, you gotta give it your all and if you're flailing and uncoordinated, you gotta put everything you got into your flailing and uncoordinated-ness.

The songs were an interesting mix too. There was latin music which required some shimmying, sometimes a bunny hop backwards that was supposed to be more like a rump shake backwards but for me looked more like a backwards bunny hop. Mind you, latin music is supposed to bring out the vixen in a lady but even though the music moved me sometimes, I was pretty sure that my flailing equated to the most unsexy "me" in florescent lights and mirrored room ever. But I wasn't trying to impress anyone I just wanted to keep up with the old ladies, who pretty much had it down pat (they must be regulars).

I gave the shimmying my all though.

I can really shimmy. Not that that was ever in question. I've always been a good shimmyer.

I'm just saying.

So then there was some hip hop and I tried to channel my inner Brittany Spears with some cross legged jumping and jumping fist pumping and even though I thought I had moments of oozing cool factor (it's Jackson if you're nasty!), I'm pretty sure it's only how I felt on the inside. Which is ok by me. There were some parts where I pretended I was in a music video.

Then there came the African Anteater Ritual.

I'll let you sit with that picture in your mind for a while.

I really hope no one was watching that.

And we wrapped up with more latin music which rounded out the hour nicely. I don't know how long the class actually goes but I was in there for an hour and had to leave and the ladies were still going at it while I went in the next room and did some pushups and core work.

But I sweat up a storm in Zumba! Who knew!

And my tushy was really sore afterward! I think it was all the kick ball changes and squeezing during the Cha Cha.

I can still feel it now even as I write this.

I think the class would be a little better if it were filled, because the room felt so big and I felt so small and "on stage" in the middle of the gym. But I'd love to grab a girlfriend and try it again. These weren't the normal circumstances for which I like to try new things, but that just must mean I'm coming out of my shell if I can throw all caution into the wind and cha cha with strangers, right?

So that was my morning.

How was yours?

My Comfort Zone

I've been doing a lot of things that are outside my comfort zone lately. For instance, my armpits never hurt this bad in my life.

There are muscles in my armpits?

Even worse, there are muscles in my armpits that have been neglected? For all these years? Who knew? (Are you neglecting your armpit muscles? You should really think about that.)

My armpits still hurt 3 days after they've been worked out. I can't put my arms up.

Working my armpit muscles reminds me that I'm doing things that are wayyy outside my comfort zone. It feels like I am constantly looking at our trainer who's doing a demo of an exercise we're about to do a million of and thinking, "Egad, how on earth am I going to do that?!" She always makes it look easy but inside I know it's not easy and it scares me. No, it terrifies me.

Our bodies are going in weird places at the same time and I'm flailing about and balancing on objects and doing things while we're balancing on objects (sometimes I feel like a circus elephant on a ball but not nearly as graceful). I'm not even doing it in the privacy of my own home, I'm doing it in front of people, real people, and they're watching me fall over and lose my balance and going into total body failure. (Pullups do this to me almost immediately. Along with something called an "inchworm.")

Last week I asked her to turn up the music to mask my heavy breathing.

If I thought I was once in shape, I certainly don't feel that way now. That's why I know I need her. She has a way of sending my body into total body failure in less than 60 seconds.

If it weren't for her, I'd be sitting on my spin bike or running my same 3.1 miles at a comfortable speed or doing the same weight machines over and over and over again and going through the motions. And my armpits would still be neglected.

So I know it's good for me. I mean look at all the things I'll be able to do with beautifully defined armpit muscles.

Right?

So how often do you push it? Have you found any muscle surprises along the way?