Countdown to Disney (It's Almost TIME!)

Holy crap in one week the Disney Marathon will be in my rearview mirror and I'll have it checked off my bucket list!!

If you ask me how I feel about it, I am a little, let's say, melancholy.

I know without a doubt that I can run 20 miles. I have proven that in my training. I don't, however, know if I can run 26.2, but I will sure find out on Sunday.

I am looking forward to an amazing weekend. My husband and a friend from my tri group are running it. And a bunch of great girls from The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans are flying and driving here to run it, too. I'm meeting some of them for the first time in real life (hooray!!) And if you ask me, we've been through so much on this weight-loss journey virtually, that it is SUCH an honor to be meeting them in person! I'm so excited!!

At the Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, there are also fellow shrinkers running in their own towns virtually running it with us (not the full marathon distance, some are doing 5ks, some are doing 10ks). Do you want to run a 5k, 10k, 1/2 marathon or marathon that day too? Fingerquote: "With us"? (End fingerquote.)

C'mon! You know you want to!

Sunday, January 9th, sometime between 7 and 10 am, schedule your training run or just go out for a jog/run and "run" with us!

Pretty please? I'll be your best friend! RSVP IN THE COMMENTS!

I mean, seriously. How cool would it be to have everyone running at the same time?

I think it would be really cool. We can share Tweets if you're into that sort of thing. (Yes, I Tweet @christieo, you?)

I'd be honored to run virtually with any one of you.

Anyway, I am as ready as I can possibly be at this moment.

This morning, I performed my last run in my training plan this morning and it was a momentus occasion.

Yes, I am a few pounds heavier than before December began. Oh sure, I could have eaten better, ran more, ran longer, skipped fewer runs. But overall, I'm feeling good. I'm miles ahead of where I was this time last year and that's gotta count for something.

Besides, if I can make it to mile 20, what's another hour(ish) of running?

Right? (Peering sheepishly from behind fingers.)

Next up: make playlist (song suggestions appreciated.)

Let's do this thing.

The Road to Disney: Potholes. Under Construction. Deconstructing Christie.

(To the tune of Poison's "Every Rose has its Thorns"): Sing it with me:

"Ev-RY ROOOOOOAAD has its bumps."

I'm currently on an early intervention. The marathon road is paved with potholes that I'm trying to avoid but unfortunately have not been entirely successful.

So now I'm intervening on myself. Because (as I established in my intervention post yesterday) I can only count on myself to intervene for me and stop the madness.

This week as I write, I am fluffier.

I have eaten like it is my JOB.

I only have several weeks to be marathon-ready and I have skipped a few runs this past week and a half, starting with the passing of my grandmother and continuing on a week after that as I bustle from birthday to holiday party to home in a bustling-non-running-non-gym-going way.

Sheesh TRAINING FOR A MARATHON DURING THE HOLIDAYS IS HARD!

(whine.)

It's almost as hard as the marathon itself is going to be!

Except that the marathon is going to get done and the training seems to have other plans.

The thing about marathon training is that it's not just about training for a long run. It's about committing to the training for a long run. It's about having "marathon commitment." Not just "sprint-length commitment." We're talking total commitment. 26.2 miles worth of commitment.

And just like in the marathon where you might bonk at mile 18, there is quite possibly a bonk during training and I don't mean a training run itself but I mean the actual training itself.

Well people, I have bonked.

Because I have the ability to recognize the bonk and refuse to allow it to consume me, I'm back on track this week.

I have to be. I MUST BE.

I am desperately trying to make a U-Turn from the fluff and if you need an intervention too, please INTERVENE! Before it is too late! Even if it's not a marathon you're training for but life you're getting through, DO IT NOW!

Repeat after me: "I am a good person making poor choices." And then stop feeling guilty about it, just get "all-business" on yourself and do it. Step by step.

My steps toward intervention are as follows:

Step one: NO FAST FOOD. This is my second week of no fast food. No fast food. No fast food.
Step two: Activity every day. I have a note and on it is written three things that no matter what, I must do and CHECK OFF:

• 50 crunches
• 1:30 of planks
• 3 sets of 30 squats

Step three: Get my long run in this week. I am running a Jingle Bell 10k on Saturday but we are running 13 miles before the 10k starts because it is TRAINING RUN DAY! And training runs don't go away on race days. So it might be the slowest 10k race on record for me, heck, I might come in last or have to drag myself across the line, but gosh darnit it'll be another long run on the books for the marathon and I NEED THAT! NOW!

Step four: Drink my bigass water every day. Also on the list to check off.
Step five: Write in my workouts. I have my workouts written out for the week which includes a personal training strength training session. Triathlon off-season focus: strength training.

Are you having to have a HOLIDAY INTERVENTION?

Do it with me, say it out loud: INTERVENTION!!!!!!!

You can do it. WE can do it. Right? OK.

Ready?

Set?

GO!

Road to Disney: Adventures during a 20 MILE RUN

This report is long overdue but it has been.a.week. To say the least.

I took a sort of break this past weekend to reflect on the whirlwind of events of the past week and catch up on my life that was on hold for the duration of it, but the weekend before was my big 20 mile run.

The big one. The longest training run before the Disney Marathon.

I ran 20 miles.

I RAN 20 MILES!!!!

You may have seen it Facebooked. Or tweeted. But this one is IN THE BANK!!

Yeeehawww!

We started at 6 a.m. in the dark at the Dunedin Causeway, which is a 5 mile loop. It was warmer than it was supposed to be but a cold front started blowing through about a half hour after we started.

I spent two days before the run hydrating with water and alternating with Gatorade (because it is possible to oversaturate your electrolytes with too much water.) I ate a carbo-protein rich lunch because lunch is actually the most important pre-race meal because of the amount of time it takes for your body to process the food. I also ate a nice protein-carbo rich dinner.

In the morning, I ate a half a whole wheat bagel with peanut butter and strawberry Polaner All-Fruit and coffee. In the car, I drank an EAS Myoplex carb-sense chocolate protein shake and water. I had a GU and two Hammer Endurolyte pills which are electrolyte pills right before the run.

I packed my water bottle belt with 2 waters and 2 bottles of Hammer Perpetuem, which is a drink that can be used for food along the way.

I also brought about 8 Espresso Love GU gels with me. One for every 30 minutes or so.

Seems like a lot because it is.

We got through the run pretty great! The talking is what kept me going, the stories, the finding of a chalk outline on the trail we ran up to...

After which, the conversation went like this:
Me: Um. Is that real?
Nicole: I don't know. It looks too perfect!
Me: Yeah but you can't have a chalk outline that's all squiggly. That guy would be fired.
Nicole: You're probably right. Should we turn around?
Me: Yeah, I think we should turn around.
And then we did.

And yes I run with a weapon so don't mess with me. Mkay? I will use it. I won't tell you what it is. That's my secret.

I still don't know if it was real. I Googled it and got nothing.

Anyway, at mile 11, my legs started hurting in that concrete stump sort of way and it would go away a little after taking more Endurolytes or GU. But it was really quite annoying because cardiovascularly, I felt spectacular! It was my legs that were on fire.

So I found an article on Running Planet that explained lactic acid pretty nicely along with how to improve my lactic threshold. According to the article, intervals, hill work, tempo runs and endurance runs will all help lactic buildup which is that legs-on-fire feeling I got in my quads which slowed me down.

I ran out of water pretty quickly only having two little bottles and I liked the taste of the Espresso Hammer Perpetuem but I wasn't really up for "eating" during the run. So that was something to think about. I drank one of the bottles and didn't feel like I had room in my stomach for more and was dying of thirst because I ran out of water. Luckily we have a water source along our route so I was able to fill up.

I don't know what I'll do for Disney, perhaps wear the belt with two Perpetuems and 2 waters and count on water stations for the rest of the way maybe. Or maybe just one Perpetuem. Or maybe none! I'm not sure yet.

The end of the run got really hard, my legs were on fire, we had one mile left and we kept chanting "Quick feet quick feet quick feet" and adding something in to make a rhyme, like:
"Quick feet quick feet quick feet
It's all in your head...
quick feet quick feet quick feet.
Wish I was in bed...
Quick feet quick feet quick feet
Only one mile left
quick feet quick feet quick feet
wash your clothes in Dreft (because honestly, what rhymes with 'left'?)
quick feet quick feet quick feet
a little more to pass
quick feet quick feet quick feet
kick its FU**ING A$$!"

Sorry. By mile 20, things tend to get violent.

But I actually sped up using the highly scientific "quick feet" method so it was well worth it.

And we finished! In 3:54:33.

Not too shabby! If I can pick it up for the next 6 miles, I mightcould even break the 5 hour mark in January! Which I'd LOVE to do. That's my secret goal. Breaking 5 hours.

I have another 20 mile run this coming weekend and I hope it goes better! I also have my first personal trainging session on Thursday for some strength training. And also, I went shopping last night for breakfasts, lunches and dinners this week so NO MORE EATING OUT!

Almost to Disney!! Just over ONE MONTH LEFT!

Road to Disney: Nutrition Part 1

Now that Miami Man is done, I'm turning my focus to Disney in January. My eyes are squinting and I've got my "focus face" on and I've got some more work to do. There are many miles between now and January and I need to make the best of them.

For the next few weeks, I've got new goals: strength training, distance, and nutrition.

I learned a lot about nutrition in the weeks leading up to Miami Man and I am sure that the work I did on my nutrition helped me through the event itself. In fact, I never realized just how important nutrition was in going into race day and even into the long workouts, but I've seen a striking difference between an 8 mile run on no sleep and crap food and hydration and a 13 mile run after eating and hydrating well. I've seen the proof. I'm now a believer.

For instance, an 8 mile run this past Saturday after having gone to bed at 1:30 a.m. and after failing to properly hydrate and eat well the day before: WORST RUN EVER. I called it quits by 7 1/4 miles and a major case of gut rot. However, the Miami Man run after a 56 mile bike? Pretty freakin fantastic.

What did I do different nutrition-wise? I took a few tips from articles around the internet including this article right here (and remember, I am not a dietician so I am not qualified to make recommendations, I can only tell you what worked for me and how I have switched things up to work for me.)

• I hydrated not one, but TWO days before the race. The day before the race I drank water and switched up with Gatorade because I have learned that it is possible to saturate your body's natural electrolytes with too much water.
• I ate healthy carbohydrates and/or whole grains at every meal paired with healthy proteins and ate 5-6 small meals, again, not one but TWO days before the race. Things like oatmeal, chicken, whole wheat toast, my applesauce oatmeal muffins, eggs.. I did eat my evening pre-race meal of pasta, but the most important meal of the day before the race is actually LUNCH! Did you know that? Because it takes that long for your body to be ready to use that energy! This according to Lee at Body Zen, which is a wealth of triathlon information. So for lunch the day before, I had a yummy bowl of brown rice and grilled chicken from Chicken Kitchen in Miami.
• I tried NOTHING NEW on race day. I ate my pre-race meal of a bagel, coffee and Myoplex Lite protein shake. I did eat a Myoplex Lite bar on the bike, but I supplemented water with bottles of water with NUUN in them (citrus flavored). I thought about switching to Hammer brand Perpetuem during the race, but I hadn't trained with it and was afraid it would be disastrous so I didn't. I also had an Espresso Love GU every 30-45 minutes of exercise which provided me with energy and a little caffeine pickmeup.

I felt great on the run for the most part. This week, my training run is 20 miles. Saturday morning at 5 a.m. This week, I'll be experimenting with Hammer Perpetuem and Hammer's Endurolyte pills (electrolyte pills) to see how that works for nutrition. I need something that will give me substance for the long training rather than just gels, and Perpetuem has carbohydrates and added fats because according to the website, "A small portion of fat seems to cue your body to more liberally release its fatty acids stores, which account for up to two–thirds of one's energy requirements in long bouts of exercise. A little fat in the fuel also slightly slows the rate of digestion and thus promotes “caloric satisfaction,” another attractive plus during primarily aerobic ultra distance events."

Because I'll have the Perpetuem in my water belt and no room for the Nuun in my water bottles for electrolytes, I'll take the Endurolyte pills beforehand and once again during. I also have a brand new training log journal to document my experimentation in! Hooray!

So we'll see how that works! I'll also be eating the same way I would before a race and hydrating days beforehand.

It's the great nutrition experiment of 2010! Have you tried any of these products? When and which ones? And what are your experiences with training and race day nutrition?

Holy Crap, I Went 70.3 Miles Without A Car

I don't know how many times I've actually started this post and I have no idea how it's going to look when I hit publish or what's going to be in it. That's probably the closest reflection of how I feel inside right now, having finally finished this race, being at home, and with Miami fully a reflection in my rearview mirror.

I cannot believe it has come and gone.

I cannot believe I have done it.

I cannot believe what I went through that day and that I actually still  finished.

I cannot believe any of it. ANY OF IT.

The entire thing was surreal. It's even surreal as a memory.

Arriving to the sea of bikes and athletes and the gentle whir of nervousness and excitement that was in the air, picking up my race packet, getting my body marked..

scanning the swim course and sitting down on the bank and crying a little in utter disbelief at how freakin far it looked...

my hands being numb the whole night and my mind in a fog, trying to break down the swim in my mind, trying to find my happy place, trying not to forget anything, trying above all to have fun. I did a lot of soul searching the day before the race, which I had to write about. The day before the race was almost as intense as the race itself. Maybe even more.

But when 4 a.m. came and all three of our alarms went off, I woke up with a smile on my face. I did that thing where you raise your hands above your head in a big stretchy yawn to welcome a new day like in the tv commercials.

The day had come and I was actually excited! And ready!

I had everything I needed, we ate breakfast, we drove to to the park and started setting up our transition areas, took the potty breaks we needed, saw the other Tri Warriors who were doing the race (there were 5 of us) I put my wetsuit on and headed down to practice swim, where I promptly IRONED OUT ANY FEAR THAT WAS LEFT IN ME!

The water was clear and could not have been more gorgeous. It was a crystal clear lake and I swam out to the first buoy and back and got my wetsuit worked in and my breathing under control and then it was the time that I always think about in my mind when I think of the beginning of a triathlon, where you're standing next to the water's edge 3 minutes before the horn blows and suddenly you are just a girl in a swimcap and goggles standing at the water's edge, visualizing yourself traveling however many miles trying to get to a finish line and you have no idea what journey awaits.

Those three minutes feel simultaneously like a million years and like one split second.

And oh. Was it ever a journey.

The swim went as well as it could for me, there were times I got a little tired and there were times it was hard to spot the buoys because of the glare from the sun and there were times my imagination played tricks on me and I thought I saw a tail swimming away from me, but mostly my mind was turned off and I sang a little and just tried to follow the other feet. After all, why would I worry about the swim? The swim is the shortest event of all three, if I'm going to worry, it should be the other 56 miles or the 13.1 miles! Not the measly 1! (Right?)

The 1.2 mile swim took me 53 minutes. Yes I wish it was shorter. Yes, I wish I were faster. But I did it without panic and when I finished, I wasn't tired. I was just getting started. I felt good.

You see, long before I started, I decided I wouldn't race against anyone. This race was for me and me alone to finish when my body could. It was hard to not want to push with everything you got but when you don't know what the rest is going to take, you don't want to spend it all in one place. You want to leave some for the end, when you know it's going to be the hardest. When you know you'll have to fight.

I started out on the bike and was making great time. It felt great, I was averaging about 19 and it felt like no effort. I wasn't pushing hard, I wasn't going slow. It was nice and steady.

Around mile 25, I hit a bump and my bike computer went out. I slowed a little and tried to adjust it but it wouldn't work no matter what I did and I didn't want to keep stopping so I went on for however long having no idea how much further I had or how fast I was going and it was frustrating. I decided to not care and to just keep going. I was drinking my electrolytes, drinking my water, eating my GU, and it was really windy. I had slowed down considerably and the bike was getting pretty miserable because of the wind.

Then around mile 40, I got a FLAT.

I ran over a tack.

I also had no idea what mile it really was and no idea how much further I had to go but I felt like I was in the middle of nowhere by myself and on the side of the road by myself and bikers were passing me like crazy. I had passed about a dozen other bikers with flats, but thought maybe it was just a rough course or something but come to find out they think someone threw tacks in the road because there were dozens more flats than the ones I saw.

I sat for a second in a daze and felt defeated.

I began to take my tire off. I began to take my tube off and I'm doing it really slowly because it feels pretty desolate where I am in the middle of pastures in a city I don't know and the riders are becoming fewer and fewer between and my mind is foggy because I've never had a flat in a race before.

I think it might have been 10 minutes I was there, getting things started and really really having to pee because I've drank about 5 water bottles up until this point and a car drove up and a guy got out.

I was a little alarmed (thoughts about being kidnapped during a race) as he asked me if I needed help and I asked him if he was from the race and I could see by his shirt that he was. I asked him if I could accept help without a penalty because one of the USAT rules is that you can't accept help but I guess if there's a service offering it to everyone it's ok but I didn't know it at the time but said yes anyway. Then he asked me if I wanted a ride to the finish.

I really had to think about this one.

Am I done?

If I fix this flat, do I have more left?

And I remembered a shirt I saw at the expo the day before: "DEATH BEFORE DNF." (Death before "did not finish.") And I said no. I would not give up. Besides, how could I tell my kids that I decided not to finish? How could I tell anyone I decided not to finish? More importantly, HOW COULD I TELL MYSELF I DECIDED NOT TO FINISH?!

The answer was no. I couldn't.

About 10 minutes later the flat was fixed and I hopped on my bike and trudged along. And by now with my computer not working, my bladder about to break, my legs on fire because the wind is now pounding and almost NO ONE left on the roads, I am now to the point where I have to make peace that I am finishing either dead last or close to it and definitely dead last in my age group. And that's pretty hard to swallow even for a person who decided not to care.

Even the volunteers at the street crossings were starting to not  pay attention anymore, there were so few bikes left on the course.

My husband had passed me a while back, my tri buddies had passed me, I was on my own with my own head to finish this. I was in so much pain I didn't see how and I had no idea how much further I had left because my computer was still stuck on whatever mileage it was when the road bumped it.

I trodded along.

On fire.

And I started to cry. I cannot explain the emptiness and defeat I felt. I just can't explain it. I was overwhelmed with the distance still before me and the feelings of pain I felt.

Eventually I started to roll up on transition and as I'm passing a mountain biker we saw people who were already finished with the race and racking their bikes on their cars because they were LEAVING and she says, "Oh my God, people are leaving and I don't know how I feel about that!"

And I thought that I absolutely DO know how I feel about that and I just flat out hated it and wanted to die, even when some of them would pause from putting their bikes on their racks to cheer me on because that's how supportive people in triathlon are, still the tears and the anger started to flow freely now as I dismounted my bike and ran through transition. I was furious. Furious with the flat. Furious with being at the end. Furious with the pain in my legs and having to pee so badly I couldn't see straight and furious that everyone is finishing and I'm just now STARTING a half marathon.

I went into autopilot and I grabbed my GU, my race belt, threw my sneakers on and headed out like an abused puppy and straight to the porta potty that was situated right at the beginning of the run course. Thankfully. Because I was leaking along the way with 7 water bottles in my bladder.

I jumped back out and headed out on the run course completely and utterly amazed that the legs that were on fire and that couldn't make a revolution even one single mph faster just minutes ago felt GOOD AND STRONG and I began to hit my mile markers at the 10 minute pace and some wave of excitement washed over me as I realized that I was indeed about to finish this thing after all.

And soon, my head started to clear as I looked down at my watch and saw that I could even still possibly finish this thing somewhere within the 6-something hour range and the fire lit again because that was my goal and if I didn't reach my goal I was at the very least still going to be close!

So I hit the water stations, grabbed a water to sip, a water to pour on my head and a cup of Cytomax to sip and moved along, mile after mile. Our run was two laps of 6 miles each that wound throughout the Miami Metro Zoo and somewhere along the route there was a homemade sign that just said, "Ry Ry" and nothing else and it was stuck in the ground and that's what we call my son and what are the chances of that!

And it fueled me.

And I sang entire Paramore songs in my head to keep my feet moving.

I watched the elephants and the monkeys and I longed to smother my face in my babies when I passed families having fun at the zoo and I wanted to make them proud and it fueled me some more.

I hit the 6 mile mark at 1:05 (ONE HOUR AND 5 F**KING MINUTES!!!!! WOOOOOOO!!!) and knew I had more to keep going.

Besides, I fittingly chose my "SHUT UP AND RUN" headband after the bike-crying episode since there was no longer time for my head to bitch about anything and there was nothing left to do but SHUT UP AND RUN anyway and that's what I did.

I began to get nervous because I was pretty sure that all the people I was running with were already on their SECOND lap and that they would leave me at the 6 mile mark to trot toward the finish and sure enough, they were. Very few rounded the corner for that second lap and the defeat began to set in again.

So us straggling runners chit-chatted for a while as we passed each other, we ran alongside of each other for a bit exchanging our tales of the race up until that point, we laughed at the vultures circling overhead and how they were waiting for us to bite it.

Even the volunteers on this course were starting to pack up and I was feeling as if it were the end of the race but my race wasn't over yet and that hurt my feelings a lot but I picked back up and kept going.

At mile 11, my legs began to get really angry with me and the gut rot began and so I walked for a few minutes until it subsided and then I began to jog again and not very fast because now my legs were concrete stumps.

At mile 12 I began to run harder and it was the longest single mile I've ever run in my life and as I rounded the corner and heard my tri friend yell my name I began to sprint and I didn't know that sprint was in there but it was and I saw my husband and everyone began to cheer as I headed toward the finish in a full on sprint with my arms up in the air and the tears in my eyes and I finished. MY GOD I FINISHED!

And I yelled out with no inner monologue whatsoever and to whomever could hear me, "SCREW YOU, FLAT!" in complete and utter defiance to whatever filth thought it was a great idea to throw tacks in the road and make me doubt myself.

I finished in 7 hours and 9 minutes. About 15 minutes after my husband.

Without the flat, it would have been 15 or 20 minutes earlier and that's what my goal was. And I might have even tied my husband or crossed the finish with him.

My run time was 2:40 and I'M DAMN PROUD OF THAT RUN because yes, dammit, I did have a half-marathon left in me after that bike and it came from out of nowhere and that's what I love best about triathlon or even just persistence in general or perhaps it's just called stubbornness and unwillingness to give up in general is that things come out of you from you have no idea where because even you didn't know it was there.

I didn't care where I finished in the lineup but of course, later on, I had to look.

Turns out it wasn't last after all. I was toward the bottom but I wasn't last. Not that it even mattered. Because all that mattered was the finish itself and everything it took me to get there.

I still cry with pride that I did it and even cried while writing this. Because there is nothing in the world more satisfying than coming back from what seems like rock bottom and finishing strong and with everything you got.
And I did that.

Never in a million years had I thought a 70.3 was in the cards for me.

I never even knew what 70.3 meant!


Heck, I didn't even know what it meant till Sunday.

Now I know that 70.3 means anything can happen at any single mile but dammit you got to get yourself across that line, man! And above all, you got to, just GOT TO give it hell.

oh and ps. 70.3 marked off the Official Bucket List. Schwing!

Don't Be Afraid to Hydrate!

If you're reading this Saturday morning, I am in the car on my way to Miami with my best friend, H2O.

Anyway, everyone just says I am carrying a giant water cooler around with me.

Which I am.

Because you can't be afraid to hydrate. That's what I always say.

(Less than 24 hours away now.)

Road to Disney: What do you want from me?! (A Psychotic Exchange.)

Sometimes when the sun is shining down and the wind is blowing on me softly while I run, I close my eyes and I bring my arms down to my sides and open up my hands and face them palms up and just let my legs move and it feels like I'm embracing the run.

Like I can feel the breath of the world touching my skin and it feels like cotton.

I am not moving fast. But my legs are moving and I am breathing and the run becomes me.

It makes me feel alive.

And sometimes I listen to the music that I've brought and it's a song about a relationship and the singer is singing to someone else but so often I feel like the words apply to a person who's talking to themself and it makes me talk to myself because let's face it, we all are having relationships with ourselves anyway and normally it's our head versus our bodies.

We are one being, of course, but so often I think there is actually two of us in here and one of us is deciding "yes" and the other is deciding "no" and one of them is my head and the other one is my body and very often one has to physically force the other one into submission in order to get anything done and it could be either one of them that's ready to give in at any given moment.

And so because I find so much inspiration in meaning in songs and I normally find it in the oddest of places, I found myself talking to myself on yesterday's run and this time it was through Adam Lambert who wears more eyeliner than I do but it seems to work for him and it was through his song "What do you want from me?!" song, where the words are following and I'm sure he's talking to someone else but in this scenario I am not:

"Just don’t give up I’m workin it out
Please don’t give in, I won’t let you down
It messed me up, need a second to breathe
Just keep coming around
Hey, whataya want from me
Whataya want from me
Whataya want from me"

Which would mean to me, right around mile 4 where I have 4 more to run and I have already biked for more than an hour, right around the time my legs start becoming concrete stumps that my head now needs convincing that it's not ok to make this run shorter like it very much believes that it should, but instead I just need to catch my breath, not give in and keep going.

And then that thing in my head starts yelling "Whataya want from me!" and my body starts yelling back at it because now they're fighting, "To keep going dammit!"

And then it yells some more. "You wanna know what I want? I want you to finish this! I want you to shut your piehole and run! I want you to believe in yourself! I want you to get to the starting line! And then after that, I want you to get to the finish line! I want you to enjoy the sun and the wind and the beauty of this causeway with the water on both sides of you and I want you to enjoy this PROCESS because you have come so far! YOU'RE ABOUT TO DO A HALF-IRON! THAT'S what I want from you."


And then the voice calms down and I hear them talk back and forth.

"Just don’t give up on me
(uuuuuuh) I won’t let you down
No, I won’t let you down"

And then the very next song comes on and there are no words in that song (thankfully) so the voices in my head can stop yelling at each other and they cooperate to finish out the run and both of them look at each other and say, "There! Now was that so bad?"

Yesterday was the last day to drop down from half-Iron to Olympic.

But I didn't.

Less than two weeks to go.

Full steam ahead. And then there will be Disney.

And if you ever wonder what someone's thinking when you pass them while they're running, refer to the previous psychotic exchange.

There might be nothing much to see on the outside. But there is a lot going on up there.

Trust me.

* * *

Three giveaways ending tomorrow. THREE! Here's the list, go get em!

First Road to Disney Report: A Mantra Monday Package Deal

Before I start today, I just want to say thank you to everyone who left a kind word on my blog about my little kitty cat who passed away a couple days ago.

I took it pretty hard (actually, I am taking it pretty hard) and all your comments have been like a hug to me, literally, so thank you. I may or may not have responded, but please know I am reading.

This week, I begin officially blogging about my impending trip to Walt Disney World in January 2011 to run my first marathon in my ROAD TO DISNEY! I started training over the summer, but I'm just now getting into the nitty gritty where I'm trying out nutrition, what works, what doesn't, and all those things and things are getting really hard.

The "pitstop Miami" is the half-iron distance triathlon in about 3 weeks that I am also doing, Miami-Man, which will be a 1.2 mile swim, 56 mile bike, and a half-marathon (13.1 miles.)

Where I am

Last week was the longest brick I've ever done, somewhere around 40 mile bike ride (2 1/2 hours) followed by a 9 mile run. So, I'm almost there. I was in rough shape afterward, but I did it.

For the marathon training, I am up to 16 miles running. I should be up to 20 but I am a week or two behind in  my training schedule, and now I am in a taper for the half-iron, so I'll be back up to the long runs right after the Miami half. I got behind because, well, I just plain ran out of time. With only a couple days in a week in which I can actually find someone to watch the kids for 4 hours consecutively while I train, it doesn't always happen as I plan it. But I'm close.

A lot of people ask me how I have time to train and truthfully the answer is, I don't. I truly don't. I am literally picking pulling squeezing in time where I can and it has to be the perfect storm where someone in my life (usually my husband) can spare an entire morning or afternoon while I get in these long training sessions, otherwise, well, I get behind. Like I am. But I'll get there nonetheless.

This weekend I had a sprint tri, the last of the season and I learned and relearned an age-old lesson: NEVER TRY ANYTHING NEW ON RACE DAY.

Like, say, wearing my wetsuit for the first time since April not having worn it all summer. I was like a cat in a sweater. It was awkward, I couldn't breathe, and I became an Olympic backstroker. I backstroked the ENTIRE WAY. Yup.

I still beat last year's time by a good 10 minutes, so that's something. But it wasn't the last sprint tri of the season finale send-off I wanted. I will, however, end the season on a half-iron distance and in that one, I'm just determined to finish strong. I have no time in mind.

After Saturday's tri, I ran 10 miles on Sunday and it felt great. It wasn't the 20 miles I was supposed to run, but I ran out of window. I did, however, find a new appreciation for getting up at 4 a.m. to be out running by 5 with my running partner.

I've never been a "get up in the dark" person. I used to have to do it to be at work at 4 a.m. all the time but I hated it so much and envied all the people who were still in their beds sleeping away soundly and happily. Something changed after kids (along with everything) and now the idea of getting a long run in before the kids even wake up is so much more appealing than missing an entire Saturday or Sunday morning with them because I was off on a long run and I'm getting home around lunchtime and wasting the whole day. Well, not wasting, but you know what I mean.

I think it's called "balance." And ironically, a 4 a.m. wake-up call helps me have it.



Which is also my mantra for the week. "Balance."

After a couple of weeks of just crazyness where everything is seemingly coming to a head at once, I need to find balance in it all so that I'm not neglecting any one thing and I'm not putting all my eggs in one basket either. It has not been easy and I've just been frazzled now, for weeks.

I must find balance. I must restore balance. And take it with me throughout the week and into the weekend's long training.

What's your mantra for the week? And if you're training for Disney 2011, let me know! If you're sharing your training reports on Mondays, link up in the comments and we can share!

Workout Wednesday: Barf, Shrinkvivor, Triathlon, and the Road to Disney

Well you already know I barfed after my long workout on Sunday. That was a first.

Promptly after that I got goiters the size of softballs in my throat.

We call them goiters but really they're swollen glands and by "we" I mean me and my sister who say, "I got goiters," and we know what we mean.

So now I got goiters. (Boy isn't this a lovely blog post. Who leads off with barf? I do. Twice.)

Apparently after long runs or workouts, your immune system gets really low and you should avoid everyone and everything for up to 72 hours or use hand sanitizer like it's going out of style. Somewhere in that 72 hour window, I got goiters.

So with the goiters, I have an ear infection and it all wants to be bronchitis but I have my antibiotics and I'm taking it easy to nip it before this weekend when I have a sprint triathlon and an 18 mile run. Followed by a kiddie Halloween party at my house and I'm going to be Princess Leia with the cinnamon bun hairdo. Busy weekend. No time for goiters. Definitely no time for bronchitis.

Real quick here, I'll do a quick update on Shrinkvivor (the weight-loss challenge going on over at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans).
Dom dom dommmmmmm. (Price Is Right "loser" music played here.)

My team was banished last week to Exhile Island for being the lowest percentage of shrinkers.

Wah wahhhhh.

And if it wasn't last week, it would've been this week for me anyway because I am up an unGodly amount this week from 131 last week to 133 which is just crazy because yesterday I was down to 130 and was actually looking at a loss for this week! So how would it be that 3 pounds showed up for me this morning?

I'll give you a guess who showed up bringing those 3 pounds in her backpack. You're welcome. I still don't know why it was 3 POUNDS. She apparently doesn't travel light. I'm not worried. The three pounds will be gone by tomorrow. Ish.

Beyond that, I'd like to give my husband a huge shout out for kicking some serious butt at his first Olympic distance triathlon in a murky lake on Sunday!

Although it does look sort of pretty.

Until the swimmers kick and the splashes are all green and brownish then it's not pretty no more. And just know that there's alligators in there too. Yuck. Better all of them than me!

But he did great! Congratulations honey!

And then my camera failed as he crossed the finish line because I'm that awesome.

Next week, I'll be starting my newest feature called "Road to Disney (with a Pit Stop in Miami)" where I will be writing specifically about my Disney Marathon training each week (and my half-iron training which is really all just more preparation for Disney), from nutrition to hydration and the experimentation heretowith. So if you're ever interested in running a half or a whole marathon, stick around so you can learn from my mistakes!

Have a great day!

ps. I reviewed my favorite people ever, Girlz N Gear, over at the Sisterhood this week, so go to there and enter into the giveaway, mkay?