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Thursday, June 09, 2011

Do Not Feed Alligators Doritos

OK so yesterday we were at my mom's and we were walking by a little pond near her house.

She had just told me that they had never seen any alligators at that pond when I saw a 6 foot-ish alligator on the embankment.

Which was fine, here in Florida I see that all the time. I am usually not this close to them when I see them but I did read somewhere that for every body of water, there is at least one alligator. I don't know if it's true or where I read it but anyway. I love looking for alligators. I scan every pond when I drive by. My husband has a small pond right outside his office window that has big ol' alligators in there and if I worked there I would never get any work done. I'd just sit there looking for gators.


So then we're ogling at the gator because he's not far from us and we're behind a fence so he can't eat us anyway.

But he CAN however, eat the maintenance men who are sitting a mere few feet from him!

Only they don't see the alligator because he's on the top of the hill and the alligator is at the bottom and they're napping!!

Just then the alligator turns and starts walking toward the men.


So we start freaking out and my mom starts screaming and waving at the men wildly, "There's an alligator!! Alligator!!"

And the alligator must've reacted like I do when I hear my mom yelling, it quickly retreated right back into the water.

So we're laughing and "Oh My GOD"-ing, thinking these men came within mere inches of their lives and it's quite possible my mom saved them when she walks over and talks to them about their brush with death.

Their response? He's nice! We feed him all the time! We just fed him Doritos and an orange!



Are you crazy?!

We don't feed alligators Doritos and oranges. We don't feed them at all!

Seriously are they crazy?! That's when they become dangerous! That's when they start looking at us like giant meat suits!

Crazy men.

We didn't say any of that, of course. But we were thinking it!

I just put on my tiny blue Spiderman sunglasses and we headed for the playground.

But seriously, people of the world, maintenance men, etc, please don't feed the alligators!


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