YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT ANY OF THE WORDS MEAN.
Like the song "Like a G6."
In which the first line is a dead giveaway. Because I have no idea what a "G6" is. (This is the part where you don't judge me.)
The first time I heard the song I loved it! It was in Vegas and I was out at a club dancing with my husband (see? I'm hip!) and wearing a new hot pink shirt (very, very hip!)
It made me want to get my groove on.
And I did.
Until of course, I turned to him in such a way and asked, "Did she just say 'cheese stick'"?
"Um, no honey. She said, 'G6'" he tells me
And I shrugged, took a sip of my drink and danced away.
Eh, G6, cheese stick! They sound the same, right?
I mean why wouldn't she be singing a song about a "cheese stick" anyway?!
Plenty of things can be like a cheese stick! I don't know what they are, but I am sure that there's something!
And it sure seems like something yummy to sing about! (And if it's low-fat or part-skim, even better!) At least my toddlers would say so anyway, right? They'd love a song about a cheese stick.
But it turns out she's saying, "Like a G6" and of course I don't know what that means, even being back from Vegas for a couple of weeks now. And it didn't bother me about what it was until I heard it again and again on the radio and I was still sort of dancing in my seat to it (because I only hear it in the car).
But then I realized there are other words in there I don't understand.
So I'm driving around in my mini-van after successfully couponing and saving my family 83 bucks (yes! The coupons and the buy one get ones -- I saved 83 bucks! $200 in groceries for about $120!! I'm that awesome.) and I am pulling out of the store in my minivan after my successful couponing venture and I am listening to this song and thinking to myself how I really have no idea what these words are. It's not even like I don't know what they mean, I truly truly don't know what they are!
Like: "slizzard," "sizzurp," and then something new called a "three 6." Which incidentally rhymes with "G6."
So I get home and I turn to my old friend, my husband, who is about 50% helpful ("I think it's a kind of a car! But sizzurp is a gin and juice, I'm pretty sure.")
And usually I'm good with the "figuring out what words mean in context" thing, but on the radio I hear "syllable syllable syllable G6!" "syllable syllable syllable SLIZZARD" and I don't know what's happening.
So then I contact my other old friend, Google, which comforts me because as I type in the question: "What is a G6?" I see that someone else has typed the question too and even someone else has typed the question but it says, "What in the bloody hell is a G6?" which is sort of how I felt but I didn't ask it that way.
So Google tells me it's a type of airplane. She's flying like a G6. OK, I get it now.
And when I Google the song and read the lyrics, I can now put two and two together because now it's not all garbledy on the radio, there is now actual context and I figure out for myself that "slizzard" is a slang for "getting drunk." But that doesn't help me for "sizzurp."
So then I have to turn again to Google for "sizzurp" and the Urban Dictionary definition comes up and tells me that a "sizzurp" is a drink made up of cough syrup with codeine, a Jolly Rancher, and soda (sooooo not a gin and juice, honey!) which causes a "slow trip."
Wait a minute, that's actually a pretty scary sounding drink that these kids could get into trouble with! (OMG I AM my mom. Wait, no I'm not. I just used 'OMG.')
I'm sure it's no coincidence that I have turned 35 this week and I am hearing songs with lyrics I do not understand.
I would like to think I'm the cool mom (I mean, all us moms got the secret cape thing going on, how cool is that? Right? Please tell me none of you knew the words to this song either.)
But dammit, if I find out my kids are drinking a "sizzurp," they're in big trouble!
I mean, in about 10 years or so. Hopefully more.
By the way, turns out "Three 6" isn't a car. It's a rap group called the "Three 6 Mafia." And they're actually pretty big and famous.
Should I tell my rap-loving, young at heart husband he's 0 for 3?
This can just be our little secret. Mkay?