My Pancreas is Offended

Yesterday I received an honest assessment of my midsection in the form of a full CT scan report and was quite pleased with the results. My pancreas, however, wasn't.

To be perfectly honest, my pancreas was offended.

I scanned over the whole list of things that were right with me: kidneys: check, no actual "lumpy thing" (said more proficiently in medical terminology and also hurrah!), no gallbladder issue (hurrah!), no visual hernia (hurrah! and yes, also somewhat confusing), liver working nicely, smooth pipes running through and around the region, etc etc.

All very, very good.

I continued to scan each honest assessment of my parts with glee (and aforemenioned confusion since there is an obvious nodule there but the scan prefers to call it a "defect" and thus remains unidentified).

Spleen: normal, aorta: normal, pancreas is unremarkable.

Wait.

What?

Excuse me?

No, YOUR  pancreas is unremarkable!

Whose pancreas are you calling unremarkable?

I really wish my pancreas didn't have to see that, I mean who wants to read about how unremarkable they are?

And what exactly are you expecting from my pancreas anyway? A cure for cancer? To achieve world peace?

Go belittle someone else's pancreas.

My pancreas is perfectly functional and quite remarkable, actually, in my opinion.

And I don't know why my pancreas had to be singled out as unremarkable, anyway. I don't see my spleen working on the next interactive video-phone hologram version of the Ipad (mother'sday) or anything.

Oh, is it because you don't think the pancreas is a "major" organ or something?

You wouldn't call the brain or the heart "unremarkable" would you?

So don't call my pancreas unremarkable!

A mailman might not be president but his job is still very very remarkable and important! Get what I'm saying?

Do we have an understanding?

OK then.

Thankyouverymuch.

I just had to make my feelings known on that particular poor word choice.

Because you know, words can really hurt feelings. Just so you know for next time then, Mr. Report-writer.

You never know whose organ you're going to offend. So choose your words wisely as I nurse the bruised ego of my poor offended pancreas. And if you weren't sure what a devastated pancreas looked like, see above photo.

Mine's crying.

* * *
OK for real, though if you're wondering about the results of my tests that I talked about in my race recap, my results did rule out most of the scary stuff (tumor, lump, etc and everything else scary I googled). I now have to go to a surgeon to get an official diagnosis because even though it might not be a full-on giant hernia, it might be a smallerish one and therefore will require a small mesh-like procedure to fix. Until that appointment I can continue to exercise as normal unless of course it bothers me and I should stop.

Thank you for all the kind thoughts here and on Twitter! Love you!