Sometimes I find myself overwhelmed. Like right now.
Yes. Right at this moment.
When the to-do list overfloweth and the calendar gets packed and then on top of it, unexpected things get thrown in and all atthesametime of course, literally, at the same time.
And then I have to stop and take a moment and collect myself and breathe. And write lists. Lots and lots of lists. On my Cat In The Hat and Green Eggs and Ham paper.
And then remind myself that I'm doing most, if not all of these things because I WANT TO.
That doing most of and actually probably all of the things in my life that I'm doing are all because I want to do them.
Not because I have to.
Because I want to.
Because sometimes my overwhelmedness can take over my ability to enjoy every moment that I am living because I am looking ahead to whatever it is that I have to do next or should be doing now and it takes over my ability to live in the present. And every thing that I am doing right now requires me to be in the present.
Even the not so pleasant stuff.
Sure, we can ignore that I might have a slight problem overextending and overcommitting myself but who are we kidding, I LOVE being busy, it's the way I love my life and when I'm not busy I'm miserable. My foot taps and I get antsy. But I don't want to do everything half-assed either. And I don't want to look at the things that I love so much as chores. Because they're NOT! It is what I want to do! Remember, Christie?
It's such a condundrum.
If only I can stop and take time to enjoy all the things I am doing.
Even the not so pleasant stuff.
So I'm going to spend this week just checking things off my list, trying not to be overwhelmed, since you know, it is my birthday week and all (Friday! 35! Whooee, advanced maternal age here I come!) and reminding myself in every way that for whatever it is I am driving to or driving from or running to or going from next to next to next, I am doing it because I want to. So stop stressing out.
And the not so pleasant stuff? Good stuff always comes of it. I will remember that too.
I will also remember that for the time that I am doing what it is I am doing, including writing this post, that whatever it is I am doing is the only thing I should be doing during that time. (Confusing enough?)
In otherwords: I WILL BE PRESENT.
I will not multitask in my head. I will not look ahead to what's next. I will not secretly Blackberry in the bathroom.
I will be present.
I will try not to stress out, I will write lists, I will check them all off because remember, I am doing these things because I want to, and above all, I will be present.
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How about you? What does your week look like? Join me every Monday and share your Mantra for the week! Tackling this this week is also part of my project at The Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans, you can read all about that right here and feel free to join in too!
3 comments:
Well, I would tell you mine - but we wrote the same thing (again!) haha
It's so important to be aware and be present. Something that I am working on too! Reminding yourself that it's not "I have to" it's "I get to" or "I want to" It's all about choices.
Great post Christie! Love you!
*sigh*...I think mine needs to be "You are enough." Maybe if I tell myself that often enough, I'll believe it.
Like you, I try to do a lot, but it's not all from desire. Some of it is trying to chase away the nagging feeling that no matter what I do, it's never enough. So while it feels good when I can keep all balls in the air, when I drop some balls, I feel sucky and inadequate. (Sorry, not exactly inspirational, but my ankle hurts and there's a pity party goin' on right here.) So I need to take my feelings of inadequacy back to the store and trade it them in for some feelings of being abundance itself.
That's tough. I need to stop stressing out too and live in the present without thinking/doing 50 other things simultaneously and never finishing it well.
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