I'm a Mom Named "Robert."

Yesterday I spent most of the day at home with my sick 2-year-old calling me, "Robert."

I don't know why he chose, "Robert," I don't really look like a Robert to be honest.

(Do I? Maybe the lady who says I need a lipwax thinks so. And I've stopped going to her by the way.)

I think Robert is someone from his class. So for most of the day all I heard was a tiny high-pitched voice yelling, "Rooobbbert! Help put dis on!" or "Rooobbbbert! Peese can I ha jooce?"

And I would respond like my name was indeed Robert. Because why wouldn't I?

It does feel funny being called Robert.

Hi, I'm Robert.

Later on, after naps, my 4 year old and two year old were playing "fireman." The 2 year old was "Fire Sam," the 4 year old was "Fireman Steve Hawk" (I have no idea why but "Steve Hawk" came into our consciousness a long time ago, I think it's a form of "Steven Hawking" which he learned about through his space book but he has now morphed into "Steve Hawk" and "Steve Hawk" often visits us when he's being a fireman.)

So I was all ready to be "Robert" again, even though I was only making low-fat pumpkin chip muffins (recipe to come this weekend) and watching them play "fireman" from afar (we don't have any grown-up fire gear. I suppose I could wear one of their hats.)

Anyway, I was all ready to be Robert because we were standing in a group by the stove doling out roles and then someone in the hierarchy decided I wasn't Robert anymore. And I was sort of sad.

Robert sort of grew on me.

Instead, I became Carmela.

Who's Carmela?

I have no idea.

I guess the bigger question is, where does a 2 year old come up with the name Carmela? It seems like a very grown-up and older name for a 2 year old to know about. Pretty, but I'd think he'd come up with something more popular at school, ya know, on the Baby Name top 10 list like maybe Emma or Ava or something.

I could be an Emma or Ava.

I suppose I could be Carmela too, I feel very exotic being Carmela, in fact.

And I'm always looking for a change.

Hello. (I'm using my deep sexy voice.)

My name is Carrrrmela. (It sounds like you should roll your "r" when you say "Carmela" and also when you roll the "r's" using sexyvoice, it follows too that you should probably also give it a "cha cha cha" afterward while doing a boob shake-shimmy like Zsa Zsa Gabor would do. And also you're probably wearing a bikini top with a floral skirt and a magnolia in your hair. And you're tan and tall. This is how I picture my "Carmela.")

For the rest of the afternoon, all I heard were two tiny high-pitched voices checking in on the status of the muffins. "Hey, Carmela, are they ready yet???!!"

And I responded as if my name were Carmela. (Without the fake "Carmela" voice and boob-shimmy of course, more like a mom wearing yoga pants baking pumpkin muffins being called "Carmela" by her kids for no reason. Quite the opposite of the "Carmela" in my head in fact.)

By the way I did ask where Carmela came from but I never got a straight answer.
Anyways, have a great weekend! Three cheers to fall, fall baking, and being called by a man's name by your toddlers!

Love,
Robert er, Carmela