A Dirty Little Secret

I just want you to know that I know about you.

And your dirty little secret.

All of you.

tsk tsk.

I recently had a discussion with a momfriend of mine with whom I am known to exercise with (you know who you are) and we discussed a little secret that moms and dads have and it's something that's going on in kitchens and homes all across America.

Well today I'm coming out of the closet and I'm outing all of you too!

Sometimes, I will be standing in the living room cleaning up for the night and I'll hear something suspicious behind the door in the laundry room.

It sounds like this: KSSHHH KSSHHH CRINKLE CRINKLE.

And I'll know what's going on.

That sound means only one thing: there is a husband standing behind that door and he is frantically unwrapping a candy in the darkness of the laundry room right next to the trash can so he can immediately discard the evidence should a little tiny 2 year old or 4 year old catch him in there shoveling candy into his face.

He's closet candy-eating.

I'm afraid he's not the only one.

Just yesterday I snuck a Rice Krispies treat behind the open refrigerator door and when someone 4 or under came barreling around the corner at 8 am just minutes after I told them "No Rice Krispie Treats for breakfast!", I shoved the uneaten half in the fridge before he could catch me.

And I went back to it later.

I don't like to waste food.

Well during this conversation with aforementioned friend I found out she's been known to sneak a treat or two in secrecy and yet another mom chimed in and admitted to a secret treat bin hiding underneath her bed (but her whole family knows about it, so it's not really secret, it's just off-limits to them but still.)

And when I was out at my sons' school volunteering for crafts a couple of weeks ago, we got into a discussion about our children's nutrition while we were waiting for the kids to come out of the classroom and we all traded stories about our secret candy hideouts. Everyone had one! It was fascinating!

This was all very random discussion, between random people in random places. Which leads me to believe that at any given moment, there is a mom or dad sneaking a Hershey's Kiss in a secret quiet corner of their home! Probably right even now as you're reading this, some poor chap is huddled in a dark corner eating a mini Hershey's Special Dark!

For us, it started after one of those holidays, you know, those candy-centered holidays like Halloween, Christmas or Easter when there is a huge massive ridiculous amount of candy and you, as a parent, are charged with regulating the children's intake and it falls upon you to do at least one of these things: hide it, toss it, or send it in to someone's breakroom or office.

So first you remove the candy from their Halloween buckets/stockings/Easterbaskets and you put it all in a baggie and you put it high up into a cabinet so that they can't reach it, you give them a couple of pieces at a time but eventually they forget about it and then you hear "crinkle crinkle crinkle" in the laundry room and yada yada yada, candy's gone.

That's how it is in my house.

Fortunately, once the mini-Reese's Peanut Butter Cups run out, I lose interest and the rest is for my husband.

You see, here's how I see it.

We all want our children to eat healthy. But obviously, they don't know how to eat healthy and in moderation unless we teach them. We obviously can't give them all the candy they've actually received from every neighbor/familymember/EasterBunny/and/or Santa, so we must remove it from their line of vision and dole it out accordingly.

But we, we know moderation (right?) So if they've already eaten the candy, they can't see you eating the candy because then they'll want the candy and remember they've probably already had candy.

So it appears that you're "sneaking around" in dark laundry room corners and I can certainly see how one can view it like that because it sure does feel like that but really you're just being a responsible parent.

Right?

Makes me feel better when I explain it that way, how bout you?

So fess up, people. Where are your hiding spots and where do you secretly treat eat? Come out of the closet! (No one's reading this, I promise.)

Totally unrelated: I just want to state for the record in another note that we have purchased the black and sparkly red tulle for the tutus we are running the Disney half-marathon in on Saturday and we will be making our tutus tonight. I cannot WAIT to post pictures! Hurrah!

That's all. Let's discuss the candy. And if you don't closet candy-eat (which I believe you do but you're just not telling me) then what do you plan to do with all your Halloween candy?