Monday, March 14, 2011

Getting Out the Door is Like Battling the Universe Sometimes

I don't know what was with the universe last week but for some reason it did not want me to go out for my swim on one night in particular and if I'd have read the signs, I'd have just given up and turned back home.

But then let the universe win?

Noway.

I waited for my husband to get home from work and after eating dinner, I was saying goodnight to the kids. They wanted one story and then another. And then a drink of water and then some potty and more water and potty. No one wanted to sleep of course and it didn't matter anyway, I wasn't really needing to put them to bed it's just that it was taking me too long to extract myself from the situation.

So I finally did and let my husband do the dealing while I searched for my missing bathing suit and goggles.

I looked in the car for my goggles, I turned my room upside down, I found them hiding completely out in the open of course but I never found my bathing suit so I took one with me I hadn't worn in a while and then went to leave and couldn't find my keys.

So then I searched for my keys which I had left where I had found my goggles of course.

I headed to the door and the boys knew I was leaving so they came out to say goodbye and we did kisses then one of them plopped down on my foot and held my leg and wouldn't let go. And this went on for however much longer until I finally gave last hugs and got out the door.

I finally left and had to run a quick errand before the gym and when I went up to pay, the register froze and wouldn't let the customers in front of me pay and then wouldn't let me pay.

Longest line ever.

I get to the gym and put my stuff in my locker.

I left my goggles in the car.

Latest swim ever.

Maybe I'll get into the pool by 9 if I'm lucky.

I get my goggles, return to the locker room and put my swimsuit on. Finally, the very last step before actually getting into the pool! Hurrah!

Then quickly realized why I hadn't chosen to wear this particular swimsuit in a while.

The spandex in the back was worn and fighting for its own dear life to stay together. This is my second embarrassing swimsuit blowout.

That's unfortunate.

All you could see was black bathing suit, black bathing suit, until you get down toward my big white tuckus showing proudly through my black bathing suit where the spandex had worn out. And perhaps showing a little bit out the front too. On the top. Probably the two biggest purposes of coverage for the bathing suit in general and it was failing in both regions.

Very obviously the last time I will be wearing this bathing suit.

But I swam anyway, dammit, with all my parts happily submerged in the pool and quickly embraced by a towel upon pool exit.

So take that universe who tried to thwart me.

Me: 1
Universe: Zero.

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