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Tuesday, August 31, 2010


I recently acquired information that would be useful for any one single human being who has ever wondered how they can fit more food i.e. dessert, after stuffing their gourd full of food.

The answer is simple: it's a matter of pipes.

According to my 4 year old, we have pipes built specially for things like cookies. I recently got a chance to interview him on the subject where he exposed this valuable information that will very likely and most certainly, change the world.

Him: I am all full! Can I have my animal crackers now?
Me (thinking more about this question and its paradox) : Hmm. If you're full, how can you fit animal crackers?
Him: I have a new pipe for them!
Me (stroking my chin in a questioning manner): A pipe just for animal crackers?
Him: Yeah!
Me: Where is this pipe located?
Him: It's connected to the belly and it's connected to the butt!
Me: Where did your chicken go?
Him: Straight to the butt.
Me: So lemme get this straight. You have one pipe for chicken...
Him (interrupting my thought):  And just some pipes for a lot of cookies!
Me: Is this pipe ever full?
Him (Very passionate face and stern voice): No! (Vehemently stating) NEVER!
Me: Never EVER?
Him: No. I have two of those. I mean 69, I mean 86-10-89 pipes. Is that a lot? Now can I have my cookies?

So you see, we do not have one or two extra pipes for cookies and desserts. We have more than 86-10-89 of them (and I had no idea until this day that that was an actual number, either.) Clearly this is all why my children can say they are full and still magically have room for cookies.

Or why we can stuff our pieholes on Thanksgiving and still have room for pie and at least 3 more desserts.

See? It is simple to me now.

It's all a matter of pipes.

So now you know.


The Doll said...

I've always wondered how that works. I'm so glad someone finally explained it for me in a way I understand :D! Your kids crack me up.

Heather D said...

I think I have a pipe for cookies too. The kid tells the truth.

Audrey said...

Ha! Love it! I have pipes just for ice cream. Don't tell the WLM.

Pubsgal said...

Hee hee! And here, I'd been thinking all this time that we had a 2nd "dessert stomach". The 86-10-89 pipes makes more sense...more room in all those pipes than in just one extra stomach.

Kelly said...

That's hilarious! I'm glad he was able to explain it so well. My 3 year old is the same way. After not quite finishing his dinner, he ALWAYS has room for dessert. But I guess I'm the same way, so I shouldn't be surprised!

Jessi said...

This was hilarious to read! I, too, must have the extra "pipes" because there is ALWAYS room for dessert. :-)

PS. *my* 4yo describes number in the exact same way when he's trying to say a large number. LOL!

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

HIlarious. I think my pipes got lost somewhere!

Carrie said...

That explains so much to me about not only my kids, but my husband as well. It is probably a good thing I can't bake to save my soul so we don't have cookies in the house.

Anonymous said...

86-10-89? And I thought it was just 42! That boy is a GENIUS!

Deb said...

I love this. When my daughter was little she had slots. Her pizza slot was full but her ice cream slot was empty.

I miss those days and I miss my girl!

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