What's Happening in Japan Makes My Head and Heart Hurt

I've avoided writing about this but I can't pretend it's not on my mind and in my heart no matter what we're doing, whether it's going to the Strawberry Festibal or eating corned beef, it's just too big.

I'm glued to the updates on what's going on in Japan.

I can't believe the video, the entire situation and the need for aid in that country and no one even knows where to start. Where DO you start? The need is just so great it's overwhelming to even think about!

Cities obliterated.

This video of people literally running from the tsunami is heartbreaking.

And then to watch among the survivors and those left with nothing, the order and the calm amid the long lines of people in need; no chaos, there are empty streets and stores and yet no looting. I hope the world is watching that part. Talk about grace under pressure.

I explain some of the images to my four-year-old who wants to leave the house immediately and go help them. And I wish we could. I really really wish we could.

I just remind him to remember that feeling he has, that desire to help, that empathy for our brothers and sisters a world away, because one day when he's older, maybe he can. Maybe when he's older we all can. My dream is to take my family and go, go help where it's needed, uproot and just go.

One day.

But it doesn't stop with the earthquake and the tsunami, the rest just gets even scarier. What's going to happen to the nuclear plant?

As I read about the leaks, how it's already getting into the water supply, how some nuclear experts believe the situation is way worse than is being reported by any of the media, it's scary!

Could it completely melt down? Is it just a matter of time? Could a nuclear cloud really float this way?

And I wonder (and I know nothing about the logistics), why on earth would anyone put a nuclear plant on a giant fault like that? And Japan isn't the only one, there are nuclear plants on faults in Canada and California.

This is truly scary and makes my head hurt just thinking about it.

We've been so lucky to live life so unfettered by tragedy thus far and I explain to my child that we're really very very lucky and should count our blessings each and every day and be thankful for what we have and what we have not had to experience.

Meantime I pray for those going through unspeakable tragedies, whose eyes have seen more than any human on this earth ever should.

Constantly in my thoughts and prayers.